- "Oh yes, and Corneria is the pinnacle of classy sovereign nomenclature, I take it? It's a nation named after its primary agricultural product. You could always follow Elfland's lead and name your country after your people, but I don't think Pompous Donkey Rimmer Land would fit on a T-shirt!"
Corneria is a large, dystopian city ruled by King Steve. This is where the Light Warriors meet and band together for the first time (sans Fighter McWarrior and Black Mage Evilwizardington who met up earlier). Unlike many other cities that they have visited, it has yet to be seriously damaged or destroyed.
Story[edit | edit source]
The Battle Outside The Town[edit | edit source]
After their unsuccessful quest to find the Armor of Invincibility in the Giant's Forest, Fighter McWarrior and Black Mage Evilwizardington reach the town of Corneria, but are met by six monsters before entering. Thief, who is following Fighter and Black Mage inside a bush, makes a hasty retreat. Fighter explains to Black Mage that they have entered what is known is a random encounter, where monsters appear from out of nowhere when you are walking and you are supposed to fight them to the death. Black Mage then calls Fighter a looney.
Fighter then proceeds to hype Black Mage up by telling the monsters that he alone obliterated an entire forest in just one spell, and that the monsters have no chance in beating the mage, however as he was telling the monsters this, Black Mage tries to explain that he can only cast one Hadoken a day and he has nothing left.
Black Mage instead suggests that they "Run like scared little Forest Elves". Fighter insists that they cannot run after all that he said to the monsters. He also says that the monsters are going to eat the two alive, which the monsters quickly rebuke, saying "What does he think we are, monsters?" before raising the signal to attack. Fighter pleads Black Mage to think or something and Black Mage tells him that he has.
Black Mage grabs Fighter and tosses him at the monsters, a move he coins Fighterdoken. As he hurtles towards the monsters, Fighter harkens back to his days at Fighter's Camp where Vargus taught him various sword techniques. However he spent so much time in front of the television that he didn't listen to Vargus. After cursing his wasted youth, he had no choice but to improvise.
In a move he named Two-Fisted Monkey Style Attack, he jumps around the monsters slashing his two swords at them. At first the monsters thought that he has missed, but are then dealt massive damage and then disappears.
The Light Warrior Job[edit | edit source]
After Fighter explains the twelve styles of the Vargus school to Black Mage, they enter Corneria. Here they are met by two Corneria Guards, which say "Welcome to Corneria!" over and over again. While Black Mage found this odd, Fighter manages to make a conversation of sorts, by repeating "I like swords." over and over again.
Once Fighter finishes his conversation, he and Black Mage comes across a large sign advertising for the Light Warriors job. Fighter urges Black Mage to take the job, however Black Mage is hesitant, stating they are not the kind that sacrifices themselves for the greater good, and then hurries into the city to find the old man who took their money. Meanwhile Thief, who is still hiding in a bush, follows them into Corneria.
However Fighter has still not given up on the Light Warrior job and continues to pester Black Mage about it. Eventually Black Mage does a deal, saying that if he could find two complete strangers willing to die for the sake of the world, then he would take the job. However if he fails, they will not speak of it again. The pair split off, Black Mage goes to find the old man and Fighter walks towards the weapon shop. It is here that Thief pops out of the bush to say hello to Fighter.
Fighter and Thief join forces to organise a try out for the Light Warriors job. One potential warrior is Cloud, who claims that he can summon the Gods to do his bidding. However the summoning time takes a long time to complete and Fighter falls asleep waiting.
Eventually Cloud summons a "God", which is actually a chocobo. Fighter isn't impressed, exclaiming "WTF?" before asking if he had anything else. Cloud shows Fighter his gigantic sword which initially impresses Fighter, but the sword was so heavy it falls and crushes Cloud.
Bulidings within Corneria[edit | edit source]
- Corneria Castle: Where King Steve resides.
- Shady Oaks Retirement: Retirement home for the elderly.
- Magic Shop: Sells
destructiveBlack Magic spells.
- Other Magic Shop: Sells beneficial White Magic spells.
- Weapon Store: Sells wooden swords,
broken wooden swordswooden daggers, wooden half armor and iron nunchucks.
- Ye Olde Pawne Shoppe: Exchanges goods for money.
- No Questions Asked Ye Olde Pawne Shoppe: Exchanges goods for money, no questions asked.
- Inn: A place of rest for travelers.
Coins[edit | edit source]
Their quarter has the picture of a smiling ear of corn. It says "In corn we trust" on the top and "Screw other countries" on the bottom.