|E3 ‘05: Dream Analysis|
|Guest comic by www.pobocks.com|
|Date Published||Sunday, May 22, 2005|
|Previous Comic||E3 ‘05: White Magic for Dummies|
|Next Comic||E3 ‘05: Monster Manual|
White Mage has really disturbing dreams...
- Psychology Room
- White Mage's dream
|White Mage||I just...Doctor, I don't know what to do anymore!|
They're driving me to distraction!
|Black Mage||(disguised as a psychologist) Mmhmm...I see...|
|White Mage||It's like having a bunch of morally corrupt, murderous idiot-children!|
|Cuts to White Mage, overwhelmed on raising the Light Warriors, who are children...|
|Black Mage||(being cradled) Woohoo! Check out those bazoongas! I mean, damn, woman!|
|Thief||She's mine. I saw her first, and I'm charging all of you filthy non-elves a 10000% interest rate for partaking of her motherhood.|
And I'm charging you double for the honor of being my mother.
|Fighter||(swinging scissors around) BM was right! Running with scissors is fun!|
|Red Mage||(in drag) I feel pretty.|
|Black Mage||(scribbling a tic-tac-toe puzzle on his clipboard) Und zis pressure? How does it make you feel?|
Vat kinds of dreams haff you been haffing lately, hmm?
|White Mage||Well, I did have this one dream the other night...|
|We cut to White Mage's dream|
|Black Mage||Hey baby, lookin' good!|
|Black Mage||And by "good", I mean "your boobs".|
|White Mage||(brandishing a chainsaw) Rrraaaaauuuuugggghhh!!!|
|Fighter||(carrying scissors) Hey, White Mage! Hey, White Mage! Hey, White Mage! Hey, White Mage! Hey, White Mage!|
Hey, White Mage! Guess what?
|Fighter||Guess, what's fun, White Mage?|
|White Mage massacres him with her chainsaw. She goes after Thief, her robes blood-soaked.|
|Thief||I'm calling my lawyers!|
|Thief||This is a violation of your contraaaaaact!|
|White Mage||(laughing manically)|
|Red Mage||Nooooo! I'm too brilliant to die!|
|White Mage stands over the dead bodies, Sarda included, laughing triumphantly under the full moon.|
|White Mage||...And afterward, I felt the most profound sense of peace and well-being, as if all was right with the world.|
|White Mage||Does this make me a bad person?|
|Black Mage||Are you sure zat you do not haff any repressed sexual anxieties?|
|Black Mage takes off his disguise and winks at her...White Mage chases after him with her chainsaw.|