| 8-Bit Theater | |
| E3 ‘05: Dream Analysis | |
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| Guest comic by www.pobocks.com | |
| Date Published | Sunday, May 22, 2005 |
| Previous Comic | E3 ‘05: White Magic for Dummies |
| Next Comic | E3 ‘05: Monster Manual |
| Read Episode | |
White Mage has really disturbing dreams...
Cast Appearing[]
Setting[]
- Psychology Room
- White Mage's dream
Script[]
| White Mage | I just...Doctor, I don't know what to do anymore! They're driving me to distraction! |
| Black Mage | (disguised as a psychologist) Mmhmm...I see... |
| White Mage | It's like having a bunch of morally corrupt, murderous idiot-children! |
| Cuts to White Mage, overwhelmed on raising the Light Warriors, who are children... | |
| Black Mage | (being cradled) Woohoo! Check out those bazoongas! I mean, damn, woman! |
| Thief | She's mine. I saw her first, and I'm charging all of you filthy non-elves a 10000% interest rate for partaking of her motherhood. And I'm charging you double for the honor of being my mother. |
| Fighter | (swinging scissors around) BM was right! Running with scissors is fun! |
| Red Mage | (in drag) I feel pretty. |
| Black Mage | (scribbling a tic-tac-toe puzzle on his clipboard) Und zis pressure? How does it make you feel? Vat kinds of dreams haff you been haffing lately, hmm? |
| White Mage | Well, I did have this one dream the other night... |
| We cut to White Mage's dream | |
| Black Mage | Hey baby, lookin' good! |
| Black Mage | And by "good", I mean "your boobs". *wink* |
| White Mage | (brandishing a chainsaw) Rrraaaaauuuuugggghhh!!! |
| Black Mage | Eep. |
| Fighter | (carrying scissors) Hey, White Mage! Hey, White Mage! Hey, White Mage! Hey, White Mage! Hey, White Mage! Hey, White Mage! Guess what? |
| Fighter | Guess, what's fun, White Mage? |
| White Mage massacres him with her chainsaw. She goes after Thief, her robes blood-soaked. | |
| Thief | I'm calling my lawyers! |
| Thief | This is a violation of your contraaaaaact! |
| White Mage | (laughing manically) |
| Red Mage | Nooooo! I'm too brilliant to die! |
| White Mage stands over the dead bodies, Sarda included, laughing triumphantly under the full moon. | |
| White Mage | ...And afterward, I felt the most profound sense of peace and well-being, as if all was right with the world. |
| White Mage | Does this make me a bad person? |
| Black Mage | Are you sure zat you do not haff any repressed sexual anxieties? |
| Black Mage takes off his disguise and winks at her...White Mage chases after him with her chainsaw. | |
| END | |