8-Bit Theater
E3 ‘05: Uneventful Reunion
If one more thing a splodes, I'll quit the Internet.
If one more thing a splodes, I'll quit the Internet.
Guest comic by Chicagoxlollie
Date Published Thursday, May 19, 2005
Previous Comic E3 ‘05: Sprite Noir
Next Comic E3 ‘05: Checks and Balances
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Black Belt returns to life, much to Black Mage's dismay.

Cast Appearing[]


  • A graveyard


We find our band of heartless killers--I mean, heroes, in the middle of a graveyard.
Fighter (whistling noises)
Red Mage So you see, all we have to do is burn these little blades of grass.
Red Mage Their deaths will be enough to jumpstart Black Mage's Hadoken, which we can use to shoot that tower...

...with the bell that will roll down the hill and destroy the orphanage...

...sending shards of cement and organs into the warehouse.

The cement will demolish a hole in the sidewall that we can easily use to take the organ-soaked wheelbarrows out of the warehouse, and sell them to the hospital, so that we, at long last, will finally have cash!
Red Mage Cold, hard, spendable cash!
Red Mage (talking incoherently on what he will buy with the money)
Thief This has to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Black Mage Usually I'd agree, but this one's got gore. Plus I get to burn things and cause stuff.
Thief No, I mean the bit with you three and the money.
Black Mage That's what I'm talking about.
Fighter (whistling noises)
Black Belt Hi guys!
Red Mage Gasp!
Fighter Black Belt! It sure has been a while, hasn't it?
I coulda sworn you were dead.
Black Belt I still am, 'cept nowadays I get to rock out as a zombie.
Fighter (making rocker hands) Whoa!
Black Mage Wait a second. You're still in one piece.
Black Belt Yeah, I know!
Thief But, Kary cut you up.
Black Belt Yeah, I know!
Red Mage The volcano exploded, and you were blasted into smithereens.
Black Belt Yeah, I know!
Cue to Black Mage, in front of a fiery montage of White Mage repeatedly saying It's all my fault!
Black Mage You were practically cremated.
Scattered across the land in a circular manner.
Any ashes we found were thrown off a damn cliff.
Black Mage (pointing at Black Belt, who was still smiling) So how, in nine hideously burning depths of hell, are you standing here now?
Fighter Black Belt?
Black Mage makes Black Belt SPLODE!, scattering his organs on the party.
Black Mage I'm so over this, now.
Red Mage Oh hey! Organs!