8-Bit Theater
Episode 020
Black Mage continues his quest to prove mottos wrong!
Black Mage continues his quest to prove mottos wrong!
The Quest to Assault the Elderly Continues!
Date Published April 25th, 2001
Previous Comic Episode 019: Sephiroth's Was So Much Cooler Anyway.
Next Comic Episode 021: Assaulting the Elderly at Last!
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In the old days…




Black Mage Damn. Who would've thought it'd be this hard to find one stupid old man?
Black Mage comes upon a building. The building reads:

Shady Oaks

More old men than
you can beat senseless!

Black Mage We'll see about that!
Meanwhile, inside Shady Oaks...
Old Man 1 So there we were. facing down this demon named Roy.

Roy wasn't his real name of course, that's just what we called demons back then. If a demon appeared, say from a summoning circle inscribed in blood, which in those days were more commonly known as a 'Grant's Ear', you'd say 'Here comes Roy right outta Grant's Ear' because that was the style at the time.

Old Man 2 Grant's Ear?
Old Man 1 Oh, that was before your time. We called them a 'Grant's Ear' back then on account of the first guy to use circles.
Man And that was Grant.
Old Man 1 What the--No! Not Grant, Steve. Grant? That doesn't even make sense!
Old Man 2 So Steve the summoner used the blood from the ear of a guy named Grant?
Old Man 1 Blood? That's unsanitary! No, ol' Steve used sawdust.
Man For his summoning circles?
Old Man 1 Yes. They weren't circles so much as squares, though. You have to remember these were the early days of summoning, or 'Gallomphing', as it was known then. 'That evil wizard is gallomphing for Roys' you'd say, because it was the style at the time.
The door slams as Black Mage comes in. The old men look confused.
Black Mage Eat Electric Death, old man!!!