8-Bit Theater
Episode 025 Real
The start of a wonderful relationship
The start of a wonderful relationship
He's One Smoooooth Operator
Date Published Saturday May 5th, 2001
Previous Comic Episode 025 Temp: "I must be dreaming..."
Next Comic Episode 026: Hey, at least he's persistent
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Black Mage introduces himself to White Mage... badly.

Cast Appearing[]



And so, inside the other magic shop...
White Mage is reading a book. Black Mage walks in.
Black Mage So. What's a nice mage like you doing in a mean part of town like this?
White Mage Yeah, it's pretty rough here what with the old folks home down the street and the children's center next door.
Black Mage Er. Well, y'know. Those kids can be pretty twisted. They're very tiny. Small hands. Beady little eyes.
White Mage They do charity work for the elderly.
Black Mage pictures himself killing the old man.
Black Mage Not any more. Suckers!
White Mage What do you mean?
Black Mage It's pretty funny. I was just at the old folks home and those crusty old freaks are cooked!
White Mage Cooked?
Black Mage As in 'stick a fork in 'em, they're done.' Cooked.
White Mage Who could do such a thing?
Black Mage Well, I don't like to brag, but I--
White Mage What kind of horrible brute could do that to poor defenseless old people?
Black Mage --have no idea.

Why, it would take some kind of insane meglomaniacal fiend to take pleasure in wielding the tapestry of creation to focus pure energy into reality through nothing more than my own will, the rush of electricity through my being, the power--my God, the power! It's the only time I feel aliiiiiiiiive!

Both mages look at each other, then White Mage rushes to the shopkeeper off-screen.
Black Mage Oh yeah. She wants me.
White Mage (off-screen) Excuse me. Do you carry any restraining order spells?