8-Bit Theater
Episode 033
The question on everyone's lips: Why didn't Thief do that on White Mage?
The question on everyone's lips: Why didn't Thief do that on White Mage?
"Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as..."
Date Published Wednesday May 23rd, 2001
Previous Comic Episode 032: Sometimes He's Not So Smart
Next Comic Episode 034: Introductions Are In Order
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Thief shows off his special skills as a... well, as a thief.

Cast Appearing[edit | edit source]

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Script[edit | edit source]

Black Mage Well, since Fighter was idiotic enough to make you our contractual team leader, I guess you're in, Thief. But could you at least clue me into what skills, other than amorality, you'll bring to the party?
Thief Well, I can steal stuff.
Black Mage What good is that?
With a "FOOSH", Thief takes off Fighter's clothes.
Black Mage ?!
White Mage
Cut to a naked Fighter, with a black box with the word 'censored' hiding most of his body.
Fighter Anyone else feel a draft?
Black Mage Wow!
White Mage (blushing) You're tellin' me!
Black Mage 'Yoinks' Fighter clothes from Thief and dresses Fighter.
Black Mage OK, so you can steal stuff, but can you fight?
Thief takes out two blades and swings them rapidly in front of him with a 'Bzzrrrrrrr' sound.
Black Mage Wow again!
White Mage (next to Fighter) You're tellin' me, again.
Black Mage Grrr, White Mage, why don't you tells us what you can do?
White Mage Hm? Er, Oh yes. Well, I healed Black Mage from the brink of death after I beat him within an inch of his life with my giant hammer.
Fighter You got beat up by a girl? Sucker!
Black Mage (quietly) Yeah.
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