8-Bit Theater
Episode 038
Episode 038
This caption is about as funny as a burning orphanage
Survivor 8-bit Style Part 3
Date Published Monday June 4th, 2001
Previous Comic Episode 037: Survivor 8-bit Style Part 2
Next Comic Episode 039: Survivor 8-bit Style Part 4
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Black Mage and White Mage have a race magic row.

Cast AppearingEdit



Black MageOK, fine. We can use my stinkin' hat.
FighterBut I don't want to vote in it if it stinks.
Black Mage scowls at Fighter
Black MageAnyway, as I was saying, we can use my hat, but you can't see me with it off.
White MageWhy not?
Black MageOh, it's a Black Mage thing. You wouldn't get it.
White MageOh I see. So you're saying because I'm a white mage, I can't understand the experiences of a black mage.
Black MageYou don't know the kinds of persecution my people have had to endure for centuries! And all because of the color of our spells!
White MageWell maybe if your spells didn't only have purely evil purposes, you wouldn't have had that problem!
Black MageAre you saying that black magic and its practitioners are inherently evil?
White MageName one positive, non-destructive use for your magic.
Black MageHa! That's easy. Give me a scenario.
White MageOK. An orphanage is on fire. What do you--
Black MageUse Fire-3 to torch the building and then pick off any survivors with Bolt-2 set to a wide dispersal.
White MageYou are a horrible monster.
Black MageStupid kids will never see it comin' either. Suckers!
FighterAt least I got to say a line.
ThiefMaybe we'll get to be in the next one.
Red Mage
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