8-Bit Theater | |
Episode 058 | |
I totally agree with what BM is reading. | |
Government At Work | |
Date Published | Friday July 20th, 2001 |
Previous Comic | Episode 057: Well What Did You Think He'd Do? |
Next Comic | Episode 059: Was All That Really Necessary? |
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King Steve shows us just how efficient a hunt for prophesized warriors can be.
Cast Appearing
- Black Mage Evilwizardington
- Red Mage Statscowski
- Thief
- Fighter McWarrior
- King Steve
- List of Minor 8-Bit Theater Characters#Queen Jane
Setting
Script
And so, in the Royal Waiting Room, our heroes uh... waited. Black Mage is reading EVIL MONTHLY, Red Mage is reading twink monthly, Thief is reading 2600, and Fighter is reading Highlights. Meanwhile, inside the throne room itself... | |
King Steve | I'm telling you, honey, this light warrior schtick of mine is brilliant. You hear me? Brilliant! |
Queen Jane | The idea certainly has merit, dear. But how can we be sure they'll be the right light warriors? The prophecy is fairly vague about their identities. |
King Steve | Waaaaaaay ahead of ya, Honey-Bunch |
King Steve | See, I figure we'll get a lot of applicants for this gig. Now, it would be a lot of work to shuffle through them al to find the true Light Warriors, right? |
Queen Jane | Right. |
King Steve | So why don't we skip the middleman and just send them all? The weak will perish and the chosen ones will rise from the leftovers to save us all. |
Queen Jane | But doesn't that involve the slaughter of potentially hundreds of lives? |
King Steve | Ooh, you think the turn out will be that good? |
Queen Jane | ...I think you're missing the point. |
The Light Warriors are still reading. Black Mage's magazine is in an unintelligible (and most likely inherently evil) language. Red Mage's magazine reads, "3 Steps to Building a More Invincible Player Character." Thief thinks to himself, "Hm... I'll never pay for long-distance again!" Fighter now knows that bees like honey. |