8-Bit Theater
Episode 059
"Stop making that noise! I'm trying to read!"
"Stop making that noise! I'm trying to read!"
Was All That Really Necessary?
Date Published Monday July 23rd, 2001
Previous Comic Episode 058: Government At Work
Next Comic Episode 060: The Mystery of the Ladder--REVEALED!
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Black Mage is off trying to find the Orbs of Light.

Cast Appearing[]



Black Mage (to the receptionist) We're the Light Warriors and stuff. We have an appointment to meet with the king. It's a matter of global importance. Top secret stuff.
Carol Are you sure you guys are the Light Warriors? Your appointment isn't for another hour.
Black Mage Think fast, BM!

This is a matter of destiny! We haven't time for your petty little 'schedules!' Lives are at stake! The fate of the world hangs in the balance!

Carol Well, if you truly are the Light Warriors, then I'm going to have to see your orbs of light.
Black Mage (thinking) Oh, Lord Chaos, who art in hell, please tell me I don't have to take off my robes for this hag-beast.

(speaking) Ahem. Orbs of Light, eh? And those are...

Carol Tsk. The Orbs are a sign of the true Light Warriors. So where's yours?
Black Mage Let me get back to you on that.

(to rest of the party) Guys. I need a ladder, and I need it now.

Red Mage There was a painter outside this very building. He was on a ladder.
Black Mage (whilst running out) Be back in a second. Yoing!
Thief I wonder what he's got in mind.
Red Mage, Thief and Fighter continue reading their magazines as Black Mage murders the painter off-screen.
Painter (offscreen) Hey, what're you doing with that knife? ARGH! You're stabbing me repeatedly in the face! ARRRGHBLE! Why are you stabbing me?! I said you could borrow the ladder! There's no reason to assault me! ARRRRRGH!!! Now you're kicking me as I lay bleeding in the streets in broad daylight while everyone continues to wander about aimlessly as though you were not mercilessly beating me! GHKKK! Now you're chocking me! Vision... tunneling... can't seem to... stay... awake... wheeze.
Black Mage (holding a ladder) Dum de dum.