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8-Bit Theater
Episode 069
The clue's in the name
The clue's in the name
Thief is One Slick Mo-Fo
Date Published Sunday August 19th, 2001
Previous Comic Interlude 02: NOR DOES THE FIGHTER LIKE THE NINJAS!!!
Next Comic Episode 070: Black Mage, the Master of Deceit
Read Episode

In the theme of stealing (in this case, the first line of the comic), Thief goes to the Pawn shop district...

Cast Appearing[]

  • Thief
  • Pawnbroker
  • No Questions Asked Pawnbroker

Setting[]

  • Corneria
    • Outside
    • Ye Olde Pawne Shoppe
    • No Questions Asked Ye Olde Pawne Shoppe

Script[]

Thief goes to the Pawn Shop District...
Thief Hmm...
Inside
Pawnbroker 1 Hello, good sir. How can I help you today?
Thief Priceless riches for sale.
Pawnbroker 1 Hm, priceless eh? How about half-priceless instead? You can only sell it for half its actual value. Regulations, y'know.
Thief Oh that's fine. Just credit it to my massive overseas bank account.
Pawnbroker 1 Not a problem. Is there anything else we can do for you today?
Thief Yes. I would like to purchase the smallest, most insignificant, hard to find item located somewhere in your backroom. Preferably under a heavy appliance or suit of armor.
Pawnbroker 1 Sure. It'll take me a while though.
Thief Oh take your time... please.
Three minutes later...
Thief leaves with all the hangings from the wall removed.
Pawnbroker 1 I found a dented bottle... cap?

Where'd that thief go? And on another topic altogether, where's my stuff?

Cut to Thief outside, with a money bag almost twice the size of him.
Inside the No Questions shop...
Pawnbroker 2 OK, so that's a bag stuffed with royal Cornerian priceless riches, a larger bag stuffed with the entire inventory of my competition, and the deeds to his store, home, and parents' house.
Thief Yeah, just credit it to my ever-increasingly massive overseas account.

Suckers!

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