8-Bit Theater
Episode 069
The clue's in the name
The clue's in the name
Thief is One Slick Mo-Fo
Date Published Sunday August 19th, 2001
Previous Comic Interlude 02: NOR DOES THE FIGHTER LIKE THE NINJAS!!!
Next Comic Episode 070: Black Mage, the Master of Deceit
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In the theme of stealing (in this case, the first line of the comic), Thief goes to the Pawn shop district...

Cast Appearing[]

  • Thief
  • Pawnbroker
  • No Questions Asked Pawnbroker


  • Corneria
    • Outside
    • Ye Olde Pawne Shoppe
    • No Questions Asked Ye Olde Pawne Shoppe


Thief goes to the Pawn Shop District...
Thief Hmm...
Pawnbroker 1 Hello, good sir. How can I help you today?
Thief Priceless riches for sale.
Pawnbroker 1 Hm, priceless eh? How about half-priceless instead? You can only sell it for half its actual value. Regulations, y'know.
Thief Oh that's fine. Just credit it to my massive overseas bank account.
Pawnbroker 1 Not a problem. Is there anything else we can do for you today?
Thief Yes. I would like to purchase the smallest, most insignificant, hard to find item located somewhere in your backroom. Preferably under a heavy appliance or suit of armor.
Pawnbroker 1 Sure. It'll take me a while though.
Thief Oh take your time... please.
Three minutes later...
Thief leaves with all the hangings from the wall removed.
Pawnbroker 1 I found a dented bottle... cap?

Where'd that thief go? And on another topic altogether, where's my stuff?

Cut to Thief outside, with a money bag almost twice the size of him.
Inside the No Questions shop...
Pawnbroker 2 OK, so that's a bag stuffed with royal Cornerian priceless riches, a larger bag stuffed with the entire inventory of my competition, and the deeds to his store, home, and parents' house.
Thief Yeah, just credit it to my ever-increasingly massive overseas account.