8-Bit Theater
Episode 070
Episode 70.gif
Tru dat.
Tru dat.
Black Mage, the Master of Deceit
Date Published Tuesday August 21st, 2001
Previous Comic Episode 069: Thief is One Slick Mo-Fo
Next Comic Episode 071: Sometimes He Should Really Keep Quiet
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Two Corneria Guards embark on a quest to find the Black Mage who killed the old man.

Cast Appearing

Setting

Script

Black Mage Hm, according to Fighter, the old man who took all our gold was wearing blue. So when I beat the living bajeezus out of that old guy in red, I was assaulting the wrong geezer.

Don't get me wrong. I mean, I'm all about random violence perpetrated against hapless victims...

...but it does complicate matters since he--or perhaps his next of kin--have undoubtedly gone to the authorities by now.

Speaking of authorities...

Cut to two Corneria Guards, Lenny and Carl.
Carl I don't think this is a good idea.
Lenny How so?
Carl We're supposed to be hunting down a mage to bring him to justice for beating the daylights out of some old guy, right?
Black Mage hides behind the corner while the Corneria Guards are having their conversation.
Lenny Right.
Carl Well doesn't it follow that said mage, being that we have to hunt him down, is not likely to go quietly?
Lenny Sounds reasonable enough, yeah.
Carl Then doesn't it also follow that he will throw fireballs at us or some such?
Black Mage I think he'd rather cast a translocation spell between your blood and a vat of acid while sustaining just enough of your consciousness in a state of unlife so that you'd be able to experience the impossible pain of it before being driven insane as a fully aware yet dead corpse rotting in the cold ground forever...
Pan out showing Black Mage wearing glasses and a fake moustache.
Black Mage ...er, but what do I know for mages, eh what?
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