8-Bit Theater
Episode 076
There've only been five.
There've only been five.
Fighter and Red Mage Are Back
Date Published Friday September 7th, 2001
Previous Comic Episode 075: Behind Closed Doors
Next Comic Episode 077: And Now Thief is Back
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The Light Warriors meet up at the Inn, minus Thief.

Cast Appearing[edit | edit source]

Setting[edit | edit source]

Script[edit | edit source]

Later that day in room 2-A...
Fighter We're back!
Black Mage Hey guys. Where are all of the weapons you were supposed to buy?
Red Mage We'd be better off using harsh language than the pathetic wooden pieces of... pathetic... weapons that these people call... weapons.
Black Mage Um...
Red Mage Shut up. I've been hanging out with Fighter all day.
Fighter Yo.
Red Mage I could literally feel him sucking away at my... brain-thinky score thing.
Black Mage You mean Intelligence?
Fighter Intelligence is how I thought up Sword-Chucks..
Red Mage By Mordekainen's +5/+5 Wand of Sorcerery, he's lowered my int score just by being near me!

Quick, ask me about some insipid little rule you'd never bother to enforce!

Black Mage I don't know what you're talking about.
Fighter How many swords could a sword-chuck chuck if a sword-chuck could chuck swords? I made that up all by myself.
Red Mage Damn your merely casual attention to the physics that govern our fickle-fated world!
Black Mage He talked about swords the whole time, didn't he? It's clearly driven you insane.
Red Mage No no no, listen. I'll give you an example of what I'm talking about.

Er... uh...

Dah! I can't even think of an example! Can't you see I've lost my encyclopedic knowledge of every handbook and player's guide known to man!

Black Mage So what? It was a really annoying skill anyway.
Red Mage But it's all I've got...
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