8-Bit Theater
Episode 082
Suuuuuuure he does....
Suuuuuuure he does....
White Mage Like You've Never Seen Her...
Date Published Thursday, September 27th, 2001
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Has Black Mage's dreams come true, or is it just... well a dream?

Cast Appearing[]


Corneria - Inn


Cut to Black Mage asleep in bed.
Black Mage Stupid Fighter... must destroy...
White Mage sneaks into the room.
Black Mage Evil is good... mmm, pie.
White Mage Hellooooo, Black Mage.
Black Mage Mrph... is that you, Pie?
White Mage No, silly. It's me. The woman of your dreams.
Black Mage ... A woman made entirely of pie?
White Mage Grrr!
White Mages hits Black Mage with her hammer.
Black Mage White Mage, it's you! How did you know I was here?
White Mage How could I not know? You immense power is like a great beacon summoning me to your side. Cannot resist you.
Black Mage Yeah. I get that a lot.
White Mage Black Mage. I only beat the bajeezus out of you before because I was so overwhelmed by your raw sex appeal that I couldn't think straight.
Black Mage That's a perfectly natural reaction to my presence.
White Mage Enough talk. Ravish me, you strange, tiny--yet huge--pinacle of darkness and sweet, sweet ecstasy!
Black Mage 'Kay. Lemme just get on top here
White Mage Yes! Hurry! I cannot wait another moment!

Black Mage falls off the bed. He was dreaming the whole time.

Black Mage Stupid dream. Now how do I vent the rage welling up inside me?
Fighter (in his sleep) Mmm... claymores... zzz...
Black Mage gets his dagger out.
Black Mage STAB TIME!