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8-Bit Theater
Episode 083
Get used to it, Doc
Get used to it, Doc
A Shout Out to All You Web-Heads Out There
Date Published Wednesday, October 3rd, 2001
Previous Comic Episode 082: White Mage Like You've Never Seen Her...
Next Comic Episode 084: Maybe He's Greedy For a Good Cause?
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Dr. Swordopolis meets Fighter in the subconscious.

Cast Appearing[]

Setting[]

Script[]

Fighter Awww nuts. Another black formless void of the subconscious. Oh well, bring on the hot sword-girls, yo.
Swordopolis Greetings, Fighter.
Fighter This is not what I meant when I said 'sword-girl.'
Swordopolis What the... no, I'm not a sword-girl, I'm just a sword. My name is Dr. Swordopolis.
Fighter Look, dream-world. Either give me full on sword-girls or don't. Why bother half-assing it, hm?
Swordopolis You're not listening.
Fighter At least you could've given me the girl half instead.
Swordopolis Fighter! Pay attention. This is a very important message about your destiny!
Fighter OK, right. Paying attention now.
Swordopolis The sword. It is as much an instrument of peace...

...as it is an instrument of war. Throughout the ages, the sword has been--

Fighter Could you sorta fast forward to the point? I have what doctors call a short attention sp--ooh, something shiny!
Swordopolis Ahem!
Fighter Er... sorry.
Swordopolis OK, let's see. Yadda yadda, destiny, blah blah, importance of swords as symbols of power throughout history...
Fighter Dum de dum...
Swordopolis Here we go. Ready?
Fighter Sure, why not?
Swordopolis Did you choose the sword, or did the sword choose you?
Fighter Pffft! That's easy. I chose the sword. They're quite shiny.
Swordopolis What... no. You're not listening again. You see, the point of the question is not the question itself, but rather to question whether or not you had any choice in the matter of becoming a swords man in the first place.
Fighter Of course I did. I was all "hey, swords are cool." So I attended Fighter's Camp back in '86 and that Vargus dude was all like--
Swordopolis That's it!

I've had enough. I relayed the message, my job here is done. So just wake up and get stabbed by Black Mage.

Fighter Dr. Swordopolis, don't leave me!
Swordopolis Why am I always stuck with the idiots? I'm the very incarnation of sword. I shouldn't have to put up with things like this...
Back at the inn, Black Mage is trying to stab Fighter with his dagger.
Black Mage Argh! How am I supposed to stab him to death when I can't get through his damned armor?!
Fighter wakes up.
Fighter Hey, were you trying to stab me just now?
Black Mage Stupid armor. I'm goin' back to sleep.