| 8-Bit Theater | |
| Episode 083 | |
| |
| Get used to it, Doc | |
| A Shout Out to All You Web-Heads Out There | |
| Date Published | Wednesday, October 3rd, 2001 |
| Previous Comic | Episode 082: White Mage Like You've Never Seen Her... |
| Next Comic | Episode 084: Maybe He's Greedy For a Good Cause? |
| Read Episode | |
Dr. Swordopolis meets Fighter in the subconscious.
Cast Appearing[]
- Fighter McWarrior
- Doctor Swordopolis (first appearance)
- Black Mage Evilwizardington
Setting[]
- Subconscious
- Corneria - Inn
Script[]
| Fighter | Awww nuts. Another black formless void of the subconscious. Oh well, bring on the hot sword-girls, yo. |
| Swordopolis | Greetings, Fighter. |
| Fighter | This is not what I meant when I said 'sword-girl.' |
| Swordopolis | What the... no, I'm not a sword-girl, I'm just a sword. My name is Dr. Swordopolis. |
| Fighter | Look, dream-world. Either give me full on sword-girls or don't. Why bother half-assing it, hm? |
| Swordopolis | You're not listening. |
| Fighter | At least you could've given me the girl half instead. |
| Swordopolis | Fighter! Pay attention. This is a very important message about your destiny! |
| Fighter | OK, right. Paying attention now. |
| Swordopolis | The sword. It is as much an instrument of peace...
...as it is an instrument of war. Throughout the ages, the sword has been-- |
| Fighter | Could you sorta fast forward to the point? I have what doctors call a short attention sp--ooh, something shiny! |
| Swordopolis | Ahem! |
| Fighter | Er... sorry. |
| Swordopolis | OK, let's see. Yadda yadda, destiny, blah blah, importance of swords as symbols of power throughout history... |
| Fighter | Dum de dum... |
| Swordopolis | Here we go. Ready? |
| Fighter | Sure, why not? |
| Swordopolis | Did you choose the sword, or did the sword choose you? |
| Fighter | Pffft! That's easy. I chose the sword. They're quite shiny. |
| Swordopolis | What... no. You're not listening again. You see, the point of the question is not the question itself, but rather to question whether or not you had any choice in the matter of becoming a swords man in the first place. |
| Fighter | Of course I did. I was all "hey, swords are cool." So I attended Fighter's Camp back in '86 and that Vargus dude was all like-- |
| Swordopolis | That's it!
I've had enough. I relayed the message, my job here is done. So just wake up and get stabbed by Black Mage. |
| Fighter | Dr. Swordopolis, don't leave me! |
| Swordopolis | Why am I always stuck with the idiots? I'm the very incarnation of sword. I shouldn't have to put up with things like this... |
| Back at the inn, Black Mage is trying to stab Fighter with his dagger. | |
| Black Mage | Argh! How am I supposed to stab him to death when I can't get through his damned armor?! |
| Fighter wakes up. | |
| Fighter | Hey, were you trying to stab me just now? |
| Black Mage | Stupid armor. I'm goin' back to sleep. |