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8-Bit Theater
Episode 090
Even when he's getting mauled to death by werewolves, Red Mage is as descriptive as ever
Even when he's getting mauled to death by werewolves, Red Mage is as descriptive as ever
Episode 090: It Would've Been a Good Idea
Date Published Friday, October 26th, 2001
Previous Comic Episode 089: Random Close Encounters of the Deadly Kind
Next Comic Episode 091: Poor Red Mage
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Red Mage has a plan: to get mauled to near-death by werewolves.

Cast Appearing[]

Setting[]

Script[]

Thief You better know what you're doing, Red Mage.
Red Mage I make it my business to know what I'm doing!
Black Mage That doesn't even make sense.
Red Mage How can I tell them I failed my int check to make up a witty retort?

Answer:: I do not!

The point is we cannot defeat these werewolves with standard tactics.

Fighter Standard what?
Black Mage Put the pointy end into the squishy things that scream and bleed.
Fighter Ohhhhh. Why didn't y'say so?
Red Mage These are werewolves, you see. They can heal from any injury. Save those which cause them aggravated damage!
Thief Isn't all damage aggravating? I know it annoys me when I get hit.
Black Mage Oh man, and those Potions. The aftertaste is worse than coke! And you can't tell me it's healthy to knock back like ten of those things every day. I swear, having to drink those is at least as aggravating as taking the damage itself!
Red Mage Listen! Werewolves take aggravated damage from silver weapons. It is their one weakness.

Therefore, since I undoubtedly have the best dodge pool, I'll run amongst them and you guys assail them with your silver weaponry--which I'll assume you all brought, like me, just in case of such a supernatural emergency--while they're distracted.

Sidestep specialty, don't fail me now!

Red Mage charges at the werewolves offscreen.
Red Mage YAAAR!!!
The werewolves maul Red Mage offscreen.
Red Mage (offscreen) ARRRRRRGH! OH, SWEET JESUS! IT HURTS!
Fighter Dodge pool?
Thief Is that like a water based version of dodge ball?
Black Mage Wow. Red Mage has a lot of blood...
Red Mage (offscreen) Their claws are raking through my flesh like a +2/+2 Sword of Wounding! Arrrrrgh!
Black Mage But not as much blood as he had about five minutes ago, of course.
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