| 8-Bit Theater | |
| Episode 090 | |
| |
| Even when he's getting mauled to death by werewolves, Red Mage is as descriptive as ever | |
| Episode 090: It Would've Been a Good Idea | |
| Date Published | Friday, October 26th, 2001 |
| Previous Comic | Episode 089: Random Close Encounters of the Deadly Kind |
| Next Comic | Episode 091: Poor Red Mage |
| Read Episode | |
Red Mage has a plan: to get mauled to near-death by werewolves.
Cast Appearing[]
Setting[]
Script[]
| Thief | You better know what you're doing, Red Mage. |
| Red Mage | I make it my business to know what I'm doing! |
| Black Mage | That doesn't even make sense. |
| Red Mage | How can I tell them I failed my int check to make up a witty retort?
Answer:: I do not! The point is we cannot defeat these werewolves with standard tactics. |
| Fighter | Standard what? |
| Black Mage | Put the pointy end into the squishy things that scream and bleed. |
| Fighter | Ohhhhh. Why didn't y'say so? |
| Red Mage | These are werewolves, you see. They can heal from any injury. Save those which cause them aggravated damage! |
| Thief | Isn't all damage aggravating? I know it annoys me when I get hit. |
| Black Mage | Oh man, and those Potions. The aftertaste is worse than coke! And you can't tell me it's healthy to knock back like ten of those things every day. I swear, having to drink those is at least as aggravating as taking the damage itself! |
| Red Mage | Listen! Werewolves take aggravated damage from silver weapons. It is their one weakness.
Therefore, since I undoubtedly have the best dodge pool, I'll run amongst them and you guys assail them with your silver weaponry--which I'll assume you all brought, like me, just in case of such a supernatural emergency--while they're distracted. Sidestep specialty, don't fail me now! |
| Red Mage charges at the werewolves offscreen. | |
| Red Mage | YAAAR!!! |
| The werewolves maul Red Mage offscreen. | |
| Red Mage | (offscreen) ARRRRRRGH! OH, SWEET JESUS! IT HURTS! |
| Fighter | Dodge pool? |
| Thief | Is that like a water based version of dodge ball? |
| Black Mage | Wow. Red Mage has a lot of blood... |
| Red Mage | (offscreen) Their claws are raking through my flesh like a +2/+2 Sword of Wounding! Arrrrrgh! |
| Black Mage | But not as much blood as he had about five minutes ago, of course. |