8-Bit Theater
Episode 118
A speech rivalling George W. Bush's soundbites
A speech rivalling George W. Bush's soundbites
You Knew He'd Say It
Date Published Saturday, February 16th, 2002
Previous Comic Episode 117: Imps Aren't Nice
Next Comic Episode 119: I Drew it Myself
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Garland brings the house down.

Cast Appearing[]



Garland Okay. There's no need to panic. I'll just have to improv something.

Something so evil, so vile, so mean that the Light Warriors will give up without a fight.

Sara What is taking so long!
Black Mage I'm tired of being frozen in terror.
Fighter Yeah. He should hurry up and kill us.
Garland I, Garland, will uh... knock you all down!
Sara Why me?
After a brief pause, the Light Warriors fall on the floor laughing.
Red Mage
Black Mage
Cut to Garland and Sara while the Light Warriors continue laughing.
Garland That went even better than I could've dreamed!
Sara What are you talking about?!
Garland Isn't it obvious? My speech was so evil that it snapped their minds like little brittle twigs!
Sara The only thing that has snapped around here lately is my patience!
A Forest Imp, drops down using a bungee.
Sara (out of frame) I want to know how you screwed this up, Garland. Give me that speech now!
The Forest Imp switches the Imp Fake Speech with the real speech.
Garland (with the real speech) Considering the contents of this paper right here in my hands, I think you'll find my speech a work of absolute genius!


  • Garland's line "I, Garland, will knock you all down!" is a famous speech spoken by Garland in Final Fantasy. Garland utters the phrase to the Light Warriors before engaging them.