8-Bit Theater
Episode 1198
He makes the spells for the wizards that make things fall down.
He makes the spells for the wizards that make things fall down.
Date Published December 1, 2009
Previous Comic Episode 1197: Magic Shop
Next Comic Episode 1199: Like A Fine Wine
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Black Mage shows the nitwits how it's done.

Cast Appearing[]


  • The city
  • A dark, musty magic shop


Black Mage Outta the way, brainiac. Watch as a real wizard schools you in the fine art of acquiring power.
Red Mage But I am a real wizard.
Black Mage Real shitty.
Black Mage (writing it on his list of jokes) Oh yeah, that one's getting written down. Like, big time.
Black Mage Oh, don't look at me like that.
Black Mage Whatevs. My wit is simply wasted on you chumps.
Black Mage Now: Observe and die.
Inside a dark library of a magic shop...
Black Mage Okay. Dark, musty, vaguely unpleasant odor. Lookin' good, magic shop.
Black Mage Hello, my good--Oh what the hell is this we just got away from you.
Magic Seller Ha! I'm an immensely powerful wizard, I can run many more than a single shop!
Black Mage How many?
Magic Seller This one.
Black Mage (leaving) Okay, we're done here.
Magic Seller But I have a wide selection of spells for sale.
Black Mage (eyeing him) Doom spells?
Magic Seller Certainly. We've got light doom, greater doom. All the dooms of the rainbow!