8-Bit Theater
Episode 1214
Continuing your daily weekly dose of non sequitur 8-bit sharks... with swords
Continuing your daily weekly dose of non sequitur 8-bit sharks... with swords
The Shark of the Sea
Date Published January 26th, 2010
Previous Comic Episode 1213: Operation Ballyhoo
Next Comic Episode 1215: So Stupid It’s Brilliant
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By reading this tag-line, you've just wasted 6 seconds of your time not having a porpoise.

Cast Appearing[]


  • Outdoors, in a city, some time after noon.


Red Mage (Close up of Red Mage) Elder Gods might be particularly susceptible to heart attacks. Who knows? I sure don't.
Red Mage I say we find out. The hard way. Which is also the only way.
Black Mage (Close up of Black Mage) That's a long shot.
Red Mage Hey, it worked before.
Black Mage We didn't do it on purpose.
Fighter (Raising both hands in victory) Hmmm, that gives me a double brilliant idea...
Black Mage Purpose, Fighter, not porpoise.
Fighter (Close up of Fighter, dejected) Oh.
Red Mage (Turns to Fighter) I'm curious...
Black Mage (Raising his arms in protest) Don't ask him. He'll tell us.
Red Mage Knowledge is the terrible burden of my people.
Black Mage looks away
Red Mage Fighter, what would you do with a porpoise?
A picture of a Final Fantasy 8-bit shark attempting to wield the three mystical swords speaking in crudely written letters
Shark Eeeka eeka eeek! "I am a shark!"
A shot of the group staring at Fighter, stunned. Black Mage is scratching his head. Fighter still has his arms raised.
Red Mage But why is it a shark?
Fighter No, see the porpoise is disguised as a shark.
Black Mage (Gesturing to Fighter) I warned you. I goddamn warned you.