8-Bit Theater
Episode 135
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You Almost Feel Sorry For The Poor Guy
Date Published Saturday, April 6th, 2002
Previous Comic Episode 134: This Does Not Bode Well For Garland
Next Comic Episode 136: Double Black Belt Trouble
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Has Black Mage turned the corner?

Cast Appearing[]



Black Belt Is there like a bathroom or something? I need to clean up.
Black Mage This is an outrage!
White Mage Yes, Black Belt. There's a bathroom down the hall on your left.
Black Belt Thanks, White Mage. Be back soon.
Black Mage Did I mention the outrage?
White Mage We'll be here waiting for you.
Black Belt leaves.
Black Mage So that's it then?
"Oh, looks as though I've got a spot of blood on me from mercilessly beating someone to death. Don't mind me if I step out to hose myself down."
Black Mage Just like that? Like it was nothing! It's sick!
White Mage Why... Black Mage, I didn't know you were like this.
White Mage I just assumed you were a vile little monster with a blackened heart pulsing with evil...
Black Mage Well, I don't like to brag...
White Mage But here you are, genuinely appalled by the inhuman treatment of your fellow man. I had no idea you were capable of so much... compassion.
White Mage rushes to Black Mage, toppling Fighter over.
Fighter Over I go!
White Mage I guess I was wrong about you all along, Black Mage. Can you ever forgive me?
Black Mage What are you talking about?
I'm just pissed off he can get away with it so easily!
Fighter (on the floor) This floor is filthy,
Black Mage I mean, geez! I bet I could kill like ten times as many people if I didn't have to worry about the legal repercussions. Damn guards.
White Mage scowls at Black Mage as Fighter picks himself up.
Black Mage And here Black Belt is with monkoplatic immunity and he's just wasting it! Give me the power to kill with impunity! I'd put it to damn good use.
Black Mage Man, just thinking about it makes me giddy like a little school-mage!
Where would I begin!
After Fighter, of course.
Fighter Black Mage is so funny! As if he'd ever hurt me! I'm his bestest friend!