8-Bit Theater
Episode 138
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Yes, Mountain Dew Really Is That Toxic
Date Published Friday, April 12th, 2002
Previous Comic Episode 137: Quick, Decisive Action!
Next Comic Episode 139: Back At The Temple Of Fiends
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Red Mage and Thief dump the vat of Mountain Dew in the backyard and Black Mage dumps Black Belt in the backyard

Cast Appearing[]



Now exiting the
Have a nice day!
Thief (out of frame) Finally. This damn vat must weigh a ton.
Red Mage (out of frame) Really? I hadn't noticed thanks to a little manipulation of my stats.
The next frame shows Red Mage and Thief carrying the vat of Mountain Dew.
Thief Well anyway, it looks like we found the Backyard of Fiends. This is as good a place as any to dump the Dew.
Red Mage Are you sure that's such a good idea? I mean, what about the ecological ramifications of introducing this filth into the local habitat?
Thief As it so happens, RM I have a theory on that very subject. Care to hear it?
Red Mage By all means, I insist that you elucidate further on this subject.
Thief Well, the way I see it, nature is a delicate balance of biological energy originally derived from the Sun.
Introducing mechanical energy into that balance tips the scales.
Thief When that happens, ecological devastation soon follows.
Red Mage That's bad.
Thief but if we do away with the Dew, our contribution to the mechanical rape of the land on a global scale is next to nothing.
Red Mage Thief. I hereby pronounce your theory to be a +5/+5 Theory of Enlightenment.
What're we waiting for!
Red Mage and Thief pour the contents of the vat onto the ground, which burns the surrounding area.
Thief (out of frame) Ahhh. Do you smell that?
Red Mage (out of frame) That horrible burning smell?
Thief (out of frame) No, the smell of not having to lug that damn heavy vat of gunk around anymore.
Red Mage (out of frame) Sorry, I can't get past the burning.
Thief Of course, there is a small chance that even our seemingly negligible contribution would be the final straw.
In the distance, Black Mage throws the petrified Black Belt into the hole in the ground made by the Dew.
Black Mage Rot, you miserable bastard!
Red Mage and Thief spot Black Mage.
Black Mage What!