8-Bit Theater
Episode 144
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's...
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's...
Premature Upgrade?
Date Published Wednesday, May 1st, 2002
Previous Comic Episode 143: I'm Sure She Has No Ulterior Motives
Next Comic Episode 145: Opening Weekend Delight
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Red Mage tries on his new equipment.

Cast Appearing[]


First Mention Of[]

  • Black Mage writing insults down.
  • Akbar's dodgy gear


Cut back to Thief and Black Mage
Thief Dude, I am telling you, it's not going to work.
Black Mage Hey, let him do it. It's his funeral.
Black Mage (quietly) I hope.
Thief I can still hear you.
Black Mage !
Thief hides Black Mage's dagger behind his back.
Black Mage You're just lucky that I seem to have misplaced my stabbin' knife...
Thief That so?
Red Mage (out of frame) Like Shredder emerging from the ooze, I am..
Black Mage Man, the third one was so bad.
Cut to Red Mage who is wearing Garland's armor.
Red Mage I'd say this is easily a +4/+4 Armor of Kick Ass.
Black Mage Mo' like a +Stupid/+Dumb Armor of Idiot.
Black Mage (writing in his small scroll) "+Stupid/+Dumb" heh. I gotta write that one down. classic!
Red Mage and Thief look at Black Mage.
Black Mage WHAT!
Red Mage begins toppling over.
Red Mage Uh-oh...
Thief (to Black Mage) That was far more lame than my "your HP or your GP" line.
Black Mage you were that thief? I knew you looked familiar!
Thief Let's let bygones be--amnesia dust in the face! Ha!
Thief throws "Amnesia Dust" in Black Mage's face as Red Mage hits the ground with a THUD!
Black Mage What is this, talcum powder? It's all over my robes. Thanks.
Thief Er...
Meanwhile, on the edge of Criminal City...
Akbar is standing outside his shop, entitled:-

Not talcum

Akbar Suckers!
Cut back to the Temple of Fiends.
Thief I'd be more upset, but I paid with fake money anyway.
Black Mage Even so, it's the principle of it.
Almost got it all out...
Red Mage (on the ground, weakly) Armor too heavy...
Thief Do you hear that?
Black Mage Not really.
Red Mage (on the ground, weakly) Rib cage crushed.