8-Bit Theater
Episode 172
No Image
The Inhabitant of the Cave
Date Published Saturday, July 13th, 2002
Previous Comic Episode 171: Back into the Cave... in a Minute
Next Comic Episode 173: Thank You, Mr. Carroll
Read Episode

Eulogy for Fighter.


Cast AppearingEdit


Black MageOh come on! We don't really need him in our party. Red Mage can take point.
Red MageHm, my stats are most optimized if I've got someone in front of me.
Black MageOkay then, Thief can go in front, I don't care.
ThiefEr, my health is most optimized with at least two people in front of me.
Black MageLook, we don't even know what's in there, other than skulls of course. And where there's skulls, there's corpses. And where there's corpses there's big giant monster... thingies. Like, I don't know dragons. Big ones that breathe fire and shoot acid and don't like being disturbed by the likes of us.
The Light Warriors are shown in miniature facing a dragon who goes "RAR!"
Red MageThere's a lot of experience to be had in slaying a dragon. At our current state, we could easily level up by defeating one in combat. Or die trying.
Black MageI believe that's the exact point I'm trying to make!
Red MageBut if we had one of my brilliant plans to back us up in the battle...
ThiefYeah, we have access to Red Mage's great tactical... gen... ius...
Red MageIf we disguise ourselves as dragonfood, we could take him by surprise...
Red MageOf course, we should probably douse ourselves in ketchup. Everyone knows that dragons love ketchup. That's why they live so close to ketchup mines.
ThiefNote to self: Never let Red Mage make a plan. Ever.
ThiefSo like Black Mage was saying, we'll leave Fighter to his own devices. And demise.
Black MageAlas, Fighter, we knew you too well. You and your fuggin' lame obsession with swords. And your wit that was sharp enough to cut warm butter. Why must the good ones die so young, while Fighter tormented me with his existence for so damn long? Oh, we dare not imagine what cruel and gruesome death he's no doubt met at the claws of some horrible hell-beast.
Black MageActually, I'm imagining it right now. Oh gods, it's hilarious.

He actually thinks the Armor of Invincibility is real! But that's just a horrible cave of doom! I'll never have to see him again!
Black MageOh man, maybe it's a cave to the Old Ones and they ripped his soul out through his spleen which, itself, had been ripped through his chest. It's too funny, I have got to sit down.
MatoyaWhy, hello there, boys. What are you doing in front of the perfectly harmless cave that I call home?

Come on in, I've got snacks.
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.