| 8-Bit Theater | |
| Episode 174 | |
| |
| Cornetto Break! | |
| A New Vargus Technique! | |
| Date Published | Wednesday, July 17th, 2002 |
| Previous Comic | Episode 173: Thank You, Mr. Carroll |
| Next Comic | Episode 175: The Trap is Sprung |
| Read Episode | |
Fighter initiates an Earth-shattering battle... with a wall.
Setting[]
- Outside Matoya's Cave
- Matoya's Cave
Cast Appearing[]
Script[]
| Matoya | I've got chocolate-pecan, oatmeat-raisin, and peanut butter. And they're all fresh, too. |
| Red Mage | Yay! |
| Thief | |
| Black Mage | I don't suppose you've got some doom cookies in there? |
| Matoya | Oh heavens no, they taste like hell. And I'm a witch, so I know what I'm talking about. |
| Black Mage | Poison cookies? |
| Matoya | Bleh! Don't get me wrong, I love a good poison pudding but it's absolutely dreadful in cookie form. |
| Black Mage | What about sharp corners? Exposed electrical outlets? Fire hazards? Radon in the basement? Cans of Mountain Dew? |
| Matoya | Nope, nothing like any of that in here. My cave is completely childproof. As a coincidence, that also makes it completely idiot proof. |
| Black Mage | Phooey. |
| Matoya and the Light Warriors enter Matoya's Cave. Out of frame, Fighter is making large fighting noises.
CLANG! | |
| Matoya | What the devils is that racket? |
| Black Mage | If I know anything about zodiac style sword play, and unfortunately I do, that racket is the Ram Form "breaker" maneuvers. |
| Fighter | (out of frame) Ha-Cha! That that, vile cave-beast! |
| BONK! | |
| Fighter | (out of frame) Ouch. |
| Matoya | (to herself) Now where did I put that light spell... |
| Red Mage | Ah, so it's a sword fighting form that relies on striking at an opponent's weak points? Very clever. |
| Black Mage | Not exactly. It's the "Ram Form", whatever genius Vargus may have possessed with a blade, he was no mathelete in the realm of imagination. So... |
| Black Mage | ...the main tactic of the Ram Form of Zodiackenshido is to break your opponent's equipment with your head before he breaks your head with his equipment. |
| Fighter | (charging with his head) Yaaar! |
| Black Mage | Needless to say that there have been few masters of the Ram technique. |
| Matoya turns the light on. | |
| Fighter | (staggering, holding his head) Are you the owner of this doom cave? |
| Matoya | Yes. |
| Fighter | Your rock-giant infestation has been taken care of. |
| Matoya | Would you perchance be referring to the East wall of my living room? |
| Fighter | Darn my overactive imagination. Darn it to heck. |
| Matoya | How did you dent the wall? |