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8-Bit Theater
Episode 187
Second sign of madness: Answering yourself
Second sign of madness: Answering yourself
The Great Compromiser
Date Published Saturday, August 17th, 2002
Previous Comic Episode 186: Everyone Has a Good Side. Sorta.
Next Comic Episode 188: Don't Piss Off the White Mage Either
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There are bigger things to worry about than Fighter and Black Belt's lives, like who is going to win that bet!

Cast Appearing[]

Setting[]

  • In a forest, on the way to Pravoka
  • Black Mage's conscience

Script[]

Red Mage Four minutes, twenty seconds. Gettin' nervous?
Thief Nope. You?
Red Mage (out of frame) Me neither.
Thief (out of frame) You should be.
Red Mage (out of frame) You should be.
White Mage That's it!
White Mage comes out of hiding.
White Mage What are you dolts doing! You're just standing around while Black Belt is getting digested!
Thief I thought he was doing pretty good.
Red Mage Yeah.
Cut to Black Belt still halfway inside the Creep's mouth.
Black Belt I can't feel my arms.
Creep Squak
White Mage Well he's not, and he's not, and he could really use your help!
So why don't you settle this insipid bet and start being heroes for once!
Close up on Black Mage, with White Mage's nagging in the background.
White Mage Blah blah blah, moral outrage, blah blah blah cold hearted blah blah (...) vile blah blah (etc.)
Cut to Black Mage's conscience.
Black Mage So what's the compromise, guys? I am tired of this inner-monalogue.
Black Mage DO IT!
Black Mage (inner-scrutiny) Isn't this an inner dialogue? There is more than one of us, after all.
Black Mage Who the hell is that?!
Black Mage Oh, that's just your inner-scrutiny. He's supposed to double check what you're thinking before you say anything so you don't look like a jack-ass or moron. You usually don't pay any attention to him.
Black Mage That explains so much of my life.
Cut to the forest.
Red Mage The main problem, WM, is that the creep monster is just way too gross for us to get within attacking range of it.
Close up of a Nintendo Power magazine.
Red Mage Besides, according to a very reliable source, creeps are vulnerable to fire magic. I've only got Ice and you use White magic.
Back to Black Mage's conscience.
Black Mage Anyway, the compromise is a simple one.
Black Mage Lay it on me.
Black Mage You ignore Fighter, and while we're waiting for him and Black Belt to die, you hit on White Mage!
Black Mage I likes me the sound of that compromise!
Black Mage DO IT!
Black Mage ... I am.
Black Mage DO IT.
Black Mage Well if you'd shut up about it, I would!
Back to the forest.
White Mage Maybe, just maybe, if we all work together, we can defeat this creepin creepy creep.
Black Mage Self-narrating back to... consciousness.
Black Mage comes to.
Red Mage Awesome. It's been way more than five minutes.
I won the bet.
Thief Yup. It's a shame you didn't bother to say what we were betting. You win nothing.
Black Mage Bet's on the what now?
Red Mage Darn Thief and his clever loop holes. Darn him.