8-Bit Theater
Episode 201
Now all visiters to this page have to give Thief a quarter!
Now all visiters to this page have to give Thief a quarter!
Does He Work for Best Buy?
Date Published Tuesday, October 8th, 2002
Previous Comic Episode 200: Thief Likes Money
Next Comic Episode 202: Samurai Jack Action
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Thief outsmarts Black Mage once again.

Cast Appearing[]


First Mention Of[]


Black Mage waits outside the green tent.
Black Mage Thief and I need to have a serious discussion about the quality of his suck-ass products.
Thief walks out of the tent.
Thief Judging by your slanderous remarks, I assume that you'd like to have the rights to your share of our treasures back, hm?
Black Mage Ya darned tootin'.
Black Mage Not only did your plan for me to win White Mage's heart fail, but it failed miserably! She hates me now! Which, according to me babedar, is the opposite of how she used to feel about me!
Thief The fact that you believe in something called "babedar" alone leads me to conclude that it's always wrong.
Black Mage The point is that I am not satisfied with the product or survice you provided me. Therefore, I am exercising my right as a consumer to return your wares for my money. It's in that contract you made me sign, so gimme.
Thief Oh I think not. Take a closer look at that contract.
Black Mage Grumble rassa frackin' hoffen feffer mutter...
Black Mage looks at the contract.
Thief Now look closer. Closer. Closer still...
Black Mage What, you mean this part here?
Ahem: "Satisfaction guaranteed, or your treasure back"?
Thief Yes. Now really concentrate on that line.
See that harmless dot of ink between satisfaction and guaranteed?
Black Mage Barely... What the--!
close up of the script. The word "(not)" is written really small between "Satisfaction" and "Guaranteed".
Black Mage You magnificent bastard!
Thief I invented it. It's called "super ultra fine print", I own the copyright, you owe me a quarter just the reading it!
Black Mage looks at Thief, then the contract, then Thief again.
Black Mage I hate you.


  • Before the Nuklear Power website was revamped, this comic was originally called "Episode 201: Does He Work for Best Buy? In memory of Jesse James Schosek and Nathan Larkins we will miss you". While the title has now been shortened, its full title still appears in the comic's URL.