8-Bit Theater
Episode 210
You can hang out with all the guys!
You can hang out with all the guys!
The Pillage People
Date Published Saturday October 2nd, 2002
Previous Comic Episode 209: The Pillage Boat
Next Comic Episode 211: The Pillage Idiot
Read Episode

The Light Warriors spot the pirates

Cast Appearing[edit | edit source]

Setting[edit | edit source]

  • Cliff overhanging Pravoka
  • Bikke's ship

Script[edit | edit source]

Cut to the Light Warriors on a cliff near Pravoka. Red Mage is looking through a monocle.
Black Mage So? What do you guys see?
Thief There's only one ship at the docks.
It bears the mark of the rapscallions of the inner sea.
Red Mage I count nine pirates aboard.
Fighter The nine of them vs. the five of us? I like those odds.
Black Mage Fighter, there's four of us.
Fighter I like those odds.
Black Mage Okay, so there's a bunch of pirates.
Bikke and nine pirates are shown.
Black Mage And we're got to get at their big bad pirate captain so we can get that witch her crystal thingie back.
Red Mage Right!
Red Mage draws his plan on the sand.
Red Mage Therefore, what we must do is this.
We shall out flank and beguile them with the brilliant strategy I'm sketching into the sand at this moment.
It'll consist of a multi-pronged attack from all flanks, thus throwing them into a state of confusion and defeat.
It shall be remembered as the "Red Mage Manuever".
Black Mage What are you talking about?!
They're a bunch of dorks on a boat.
I could probably nuke them from here with a well aimed Hadoken.
Those unlucky enough to survive the explosion would drown in the mangled wreckage of their ship.
Problem solved.
Meanwhile...
Back on Bikke's ship.
Bikke (to Garland) ...So the pirate says, "It's drivin' me nuts!" BWAHAHAHA!
Garland doesn't laugh. Bikke draws his sword at Garland again.
Bikke Laugh, damn ye! Don't ye know hilarity when ye sees it? Yar.
Garland "Ha". "Ha ha".

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • The title of the comic refers to the Village People, a disco group from the late 1970's.
  • In the original Final Fantasy, the Light Warriors indeed have to fight nine pirates at Pravoka.
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.