8-Bit Theater
Episode 213
This is destined to fail
This is destined to fail
Red Mage Has It Figured Out
Date Published Saturday October 9th, 2002
Previous Comic Episode 212: GTAFF: Pravoka City
Next Comic Episode 214: Into Action... I think
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Red Mage does what he does worst.

Cast Appearing[]



Red Mage Okay, I have diligently spent the last several moments forging a plan that will guarantee our victory. Ready?
Fighter Bring it!
Black Mage Bring it? He's not calling us out, moron. Shush.
Red Mage Thief, you will sneak aboard the pirate ship and steal all their weapons.
Thief I think I already did, but anyway, I'm on it!
Red Mage Fighter, you will slay them with your mighty Zodiac Kenshido prowess.
Fighter (holding his sword) I like this plan!
Red Mage Black Mage, you will provide heavenly artillery in the form of lightning while Fighter slaughters the stupid pirates.
Black Mage I admit I was skeptical of this plan before, but now it appeals to me for some reason.
Red Mage Okay! Let's rock, baby.
Black Mage Hold up here, cap'n feather-hat.
Thief "Cap'n Feather-hat"?
Black Mage You shut up. They can't all be classics. Anyway, what's Red Mage going to do?
Red Mage To answer your question, BM, I will fulfill the role most vital to our success today.
I'll be... well, it's a little like supervising, but completely different.

I'll stay in the back where I can observe the battle from afar and give commands to you, my troops, which reflect the ever changing face of war!

Black Mage I see. So you'll be supervising, then.
Red Mage Er... while that's certainly one interpretation of the job I described, it is not, necessarily, a valid one.
Red Mage Of course, in this case, it is.
However I maintain that it could have been otherwise if conditions were different.
Black Mage Let's just go and kill the pirates already.