Episode 213: Red Mage Has It Figured Out

8-Bit Theater
Episode 213
This is destined to fail
Red Mage Has It Figured Out
Date Published	Saturday October 9th, 2002
Previous Comic	Episode 212: GTAFF: Pravoka City
Next Comic	Episode 214: Into Action... I think
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Red Mage does what he does worst.

Cast Appearing

• Red Mage Statscowski
• Fighter McWarrior
• Black Mage Evilwizardington
• Thief

Setting

• Pravoka

Script

Red Mage	Okay, I have diligently spent the last several moments forging a plan that will guarantee our victory. Ready?
Fighter	Bring it!
Black Mage	Bring it? He's not calling us out, moron. Shush.
Red Mage	Thief, you will sneak aboard the pirate ship and steal all their weapons.
Thief	I think I already did, but anyway, I'm on it!
Red Mage	Fighter, you will slay them with your mighty Zodiac Kenshido prowess.
Fighter	(holding his sword) I like this plan!
Red Mage	Black Mage, you will provide heavenly artillery in the form of lightning while Fighter slaughters the stupid pirates.
Black Mage	I admit I was skeptical of this plan before, but now it appeals to me for some reason.
Red Mage	Okay! Let's rock, baby.
Black Mage	Hold up here, cap'n feather-hat.
Thief	"Cap'n Feather-hat"?
Fighter
Black Mage	You shut up. They can't all be classics. Anyway, what's Red Mage going to do?
Red Mage	To answer your question, BM, I will fulfill the role most vital to our success today. I'll be... well, it's a little like supervising, but completely different. I'll stay in the back where I can observe the battle from afar and give commands to you, my troops, which reflect the ever changing face of war!
Black Mage	I see. So you'll be supervising, then.
Red Mage	Er... while that's certainly one interpretation of the job I described, it is not, necessarily, a valid one.
Pause.
Red Mage	Of course, in this case, it is. However I maintain that it could have been otherwise if conditions were different.
Black Mage	Let's just go and kill the pirates already.