| 8-Bit Theater | |
| Episode 215 | |
| |
| Hmm, this episode seems to be captioned for us | |
| Don't Trust Stores That Can't Spell Their Own Business | |
| Date Published | Thursday October 14th, 2002 |
| Previous Comic | Episode 214: Into Action... I think |
| Next Comic | Episode 216: Eeeeek! |
| Read Episode | |
The Light Warriors arrive on the ship to pillage help the pirates.
Cast Appearing[]
- Red Mage Statscowski
- Thief
- The nine pirates
- Fighter McWarrior
- Black Mage Evilwizardington
- Akbar
Setting[]
- Bikke's Pirate ship
- Criminal City
Script[]
| On Bikke's Pirate ship, Red Mage and Thief are kneeling amongst the collapsed pirates. | |
| Black Mage | (out of frame) All right, what's going on here? |
| Red Mage | Hm, interesting. Yes... |
| Fighter | (out of frame) Red Mage is checking their vital signs and Thief is helping him. |
| Thief | Uh, yeah. I'm helping.
(quietly to himself) Myself! |
| Red Mage | I have come to a conclusion, fellow Warriors of the Light! Gather ye 'round! |
| The Light Warriors gather around Red Mage, except Thief. | |
| Red Mage | Thief, I said "Gather ye round". |
| Thief | Oh, yeah? Right, okay. Um, right, but I'm uh... I'm still "helping" this guy. |
| Red Mage | His capacity for charity is truly boundless. |
| Fighter | Indeed. We are lucky to have him on our team. |
| Black Mage | Are you guys actually this stupid? |
| Red Mage | I have determined that our pirate friends aren't dead! Dum dum dum! |
| Black Mage | Stop that! |
| Red Mage | Ahem. They are suffering from severe scurvy! |
| A pirate gets up. | |
| Pirate | Scurvy? B-but how? we've been eating a balanced diet of nothing but cheetos for the last three months. |
| Black Mage | I think that explains it right there, buddy. |
| Red Mage | Wait... why would you eat nothing but cheetos for three months? |
| Pirate | To avoid getting scurvy, of course. We need Vitamin C so that we don't get scurvy. Well, oranges don't last too long on our lengthy voyages. So this one natrinalist down at the port in Criminal City gave us a huge load of cheetos. |
| Black Mage | "Natrinalist"? |
| Pirate | He said that cheetos are orange, so they're just as good for you as real oranges. |
| Cut to Criminal City. Akbar is standing in front of a store with a large sign reading:-
Akbar's Discount | |
| Akbar | Suckers! |