8-Bit Theater
Episode 230
Next time anyone yells something stupid, just hit the ground.
Next time anyone yells something stupid, just hit the ground.
The Cycle of Senseless Violence
Date Published Saturday December 28th, 2002
Previous Comic Episode 229: Blast Off
Next Comic Episode 231: Argumentum ad Elfinem
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In this episode, half the cast learns to tackle problems head on. When will they ever learn?

Cast Appearing[edit | edit source]

Settings[edit | edit source]

  • The interior of Bikke's ship.
  • The open sea
  • A future site for a crater some distance outside of Pravoka

Script[edit | edit source]

A minute ago, in the ship's cargo hold...
Thief I can't believe we're headed to Elfland.
I haven't yet completed my mission.
Close up of Thief looking introspective next to an even closer-up of his boots.
Thief I suppose it would have come out eventually that I am Elven. Lord knows these shoes weren't fooling anybody.
Thief (Zoom far out) Elfland is as good as place as any to tell them. At least if they react... violently there, the city guard will make short work of them.
Thief But if my true identity were to be known... Perhaps I will be able to remain incognito during out stay.
Thief After all, they don't need to know who I am and it may even be in their best interests to remain ignorant of the real truth.
Thief (Zoom far out) Ah, the sacrifices I make for the sake of this team. I hope they appreciate what I do for them.
Black Mage (Offscreen) BOATDOKEN!
Thief What the fu--
Scene immediately switches to White Mage looking pensive on a black background
White Mage It's a real shame that both of our organizations require their members to take an oath of poverty.
Pan out a bit to show that White Mage is standing atop Black Belt's backside as the latter paddles their way across the sea
White Mage We really could have used some cash to rent a boat.
Black Belt Burble!
White Mage (Looking down at her bodyguard) Yes, I'm sure they went this way.
If you weren't such a slow swimmer, we would have reached them by now.
White Mage (Zoom far out) Wait, I see something up ahead. A bright, all encompassing light. And it's growing.
The two are blown out of the water with a resounding KAFOOM! by the aftershock of a bolt of light streaking by.
Scene immediately switches to a zoomed out Bikke the Pirate, wandering about a black background
Bikke Yar har har. Not only did I bilk Garland out of his gold and kill me pirates before they

could have any of it...
But I pawned off me derelict ship to them Light Warriors who are sinking in the middle of the Clamzilla infested waters of the Aldi Sea.
It would have been the perfect scan too if I hadn't forgotten to take the booty from me ship.
Yar, what's that light?

Black Mage's blast lands next to Bikke and sets off yet another mushroom-plume of fire.
Bikke (Blasting off) ...oh.
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