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8-Bit Theater
Episode 232
Row, row, row your boat...
Row, row, row your boat...
National Pride
Date Published Tuesday December 31th, 2002
Previous Comic Episode 231: Argumentum ad Elfinem
Next Comic Episode 233: An All Too Familiar Doom
Read Episode

Thief gets defensive over the country he supposedly doesn't live in while the said country goes defensive.

Cast Appearing[]

Settings[]

  • Bikke's ship, Aldi Sea
  • Elven Security Station Alpha, Elfland

Script[]

Black Mage Besides, Elf Land is a stupid name for a kingdom.
Thief Oh yes. And Corneria is the pinnacle of classy sovereign nomenclature, I take it?
It's a nation named after it's primary agricultural product.
You could always follow Elf Land's lead and name your country after your people.
But I don't think Pompous Donkey Rimmer Land would fit on a T-shirt!
Pictures of corn illustrate Thief's point.
Black Mage So that's how you wanna play.
Thief (holding his hand out) Look, we haven't the time for this petty squabbling.

The Elven Coastal Defense System has probably been completed and it's going to become a major concern for us in the near future.

Red Mage I don't mean to pry, Thief, but how do you know these things? Despite my best efforts, even my knowledge of the elven lands is quite limited.
Writing of Red Mage's knowledge is shown. It reads:-
-Elfant: very big land animal. Not good for eating.

-Elfland: where the Elves come from.

-El Mariachi: the big(Hidden by Red Mage's body) Mexican I ever (Hidden by Red Mage's body)
Thief Well, I used to... back in the day I... er, I used to live near there.
That's a sufficient reason.
Isn't it?
Meanwhile, in Elfland...
A large computer screen is showing Bikke's ship sailing very fast through the Aldi Sea. Another computer screen to the right of this reads:-
ELVEN SECURITY STATION ALPHA

An elven captain is looking at the computer screens.

Elven Captain This is most alarming indeed.

Archer!

An Archer appears.
Elven Archer Archer reporting sir!
Elven Captain Prepare the giant cannon!
The computer screen now reads:-
HIGH VELOCITY IS A CLEAR INDICATION OF AGGRESSION. KILL, KILL, KILL
Elven Archer Yes sir!
The computer screen now reads:-
GIANT CANNON DEPLOYED READY TO FIRE
Elven Captain And may the gods have mercy on our souls.
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