Episode 233: An All Too Familiar Doom

8-Bit Theater
Episode 233
They missed the apple.
An All Too Familiar Doom
Date Published	Tuesday December 7th, 2002
Previous Comic	Episode 232: National Pride
Next Comic	Episode 234: Smart Bomb
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The Elves give the Light Warriors an arrow. How nice of them.

Cast Appearing

• Elven Archer
• Elven Captain
• Black Mage Evilwizardington
• Thief
• Red Mage Statscowski
• Fighter McWarrior

Settings

• Elven Security Station Alpha, Elfland
• Bikke's ship, Aldi Sea

Script

The computer screen now reads:- GIANT CANNON STATUS: READY. AIMING STATUS: GRAVITATION, AND MAGNETIC ANOMALY COMPENSATED.
Elven Archer	(On the computer screen) Giant cannon ready on your mark, captain.
Elven Captain	...Fire.
TWANG
The Archer fires an arrow.
Elven Archer	The target will be at the minimum safe distance at the point of impact.
Elven Captain	Prepare the defenses for a tidal backlash.
Elven Archer	(On the computer screen) Yes sir!
Meanwhile...
Back on Bikke's ship.
Black Mage	(to Thief) And that's why elves are, scientifically speaking, dumbasses.
Thief	What does any of that have to do with us slowing down?
Black Mage	Geez, Thief. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were an elf-lover.
With a WOOSH!, the arrow falls towards the ship.
Thief	Er, no! Why, I hate their ancient and revered culture as much as the next heathen.
The arrow hits Red Mage's hat and sticks it onto the mast pole.
Red Mage	That looks just like my-- Hey!
Thief	Oh ye Gods! I didn't think they'd be foolish enough to do it, but they've done it! They actually built the... Giant Cannon!
Red Mage	The fools! They have only succeeded in increasing my arrow inventory!
Black Mage	Leave it to the elves to build a giant cannon just to launch one stupid arrow.
It gets darker.
Thief	I don't think you fully understand the principles at work behind the Giant Cannon.
It gets darker still.
Black Mage	What I understand is that... Wait, the Black Mage's Almanac didn't mention an eclipse.
Thief	We are doomed.