8-Bit Theater
Episode 249
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'Tis a Fair Court
Date Published Thursday February 13th, 2003
Previous Comic Episode 248: Dream Analysis
Next Comic Episode 250: Is That Plot Thickening I Smell?
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Elf Law in Action!

Cast Appearing[]



Dr. Malpractice Chancellor, we must attend to the morning business.
Astos Oh, if we must.
Astos The only thing that makes the daily tedium bearable is knowing that I have power over life and death.
Bring in the next batch of prisoners, guard!
The Real Light Warriors are led into the throne room by a guard.
Astos What charges has the grand state of Elf Land brought against these brutes?
Dr. Malpractice They stand accused of being humans on a sunny day.
Astos And how do you criminal scum plead? Guilty? Or do you feel like lying to me today?
Knight Whoa, hold it. "Human on a sunny day"? How is that a crime?!
Astos It's a crime against nature as far as the Kingdom of Elf is concerned, sonny.
Naturally, if you can give me evidence supporting the evolutionary superiority of round ears, then you're free to go.
Astos Of course, since we don't allow fiction as evidence, you're boned.
Knight But it wasn't even a sunny day when you arrested us!
Astos According to the Fairness of Weather Act, the "sunny day" laws are applicable during any and all local weather conditions.
Knight This is madness!
Astos No, this is the law: I sentence you to death!
Knight Isn't there an appellate court?
Astos You could try bribing the executioner, if you like.
Astos Bring in the next prisoners.
Black Mage Does it worry anyone else that no one has come out of that court alive?
Elf Guard You have been summoned, prisoner scum!