| 8-Bit Theater | |
| Episode 249 | |
 | |
| 'Tis a Fair Court | |
| Date Published | Thursday February 13th, 2003 |
| Previous Comic | Episode 248: Dream Analysis |
| Next Comic | Episode 250: Is That Plot Thickening I Smell? |
| Read Episode | |
Elf Law in Action!
Cast Appearing[]
- Doctor Malpractice
- Chancellor Usurper
- The Real Light Warriors
- Fighter McWarrior
- Red Mage Statscowski
- Black Mage Evilwizardington
- Thief
Setting[]
- Elf Land, throne room
Script[]
| Dr. Malpractice | Chancellor, we must attend to the morning business. |
| Astos | Oh, if we must. |
| Astos | The only thing that makes the daily tedium bearable is knowing that I have power over life and death. Bring in the next batch of prisoners, guard! |
| The Real Light Warriors are led into the throne room by a guard. | |
| Astos | What charges has the grand state of Elf Land brought against these brutes? |
| Dr. Malpractice | They stand accused of being humans on a sunny day. |
| Astos | And how do you criminal scum plead? Guilty? Or do you feel like lying to me today? |
| Knight | Whoa, hold it. "Human on a sunny day"? How is that a crime?! |
| Astos | It's a crime against nature as far as the Kingdom of Elf is concerned, sonny. Naturally, if you can give me evidence supporting the evolutionary superiority of round ears, then you're free to go. |
| Astos | Of course, since we don't allow fiction as evidence, you're boned. |
| Knight | But it wasn't even a sunny day when you arrested us! |
| Astos | According to the Fairness of Weather Act, the "sunny day" laws are applicable during any and all local weather conditions. |
| Knight | This is madness! |
| Astos | No, this is the law: I sentence you to death! |
| Knight | Isn't there an appellate court? |
| Astos | You could try bribing the executioner, if you like. |
| Astos | Bring in the next prisoners. |
| Black Mage | Does it worry anyone else that no one has come out of that court alive? |
| Elf Guard | You have been summoned, prisoner scum! |