8-Bit Theater
Episode 257
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The Saga of the Crown
Date Published Thursday March 6th, 2003
Previous Comic Episode 256: One Backstab After Another
Next Comic Episode 258: There Will Be Blood Tonight
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What happened to the Royal Crown of Royalty?

Cast AppearingEdit


  • Elf Land, throne room
  • Elf Land, guest room


AstosAh, yes! The Royal Crown of Royalty, the very mantle of leadership for our people without which the royal family has no power to rule.
What of it?
ThiefWell, I can't seem to find it.
AstosI was afraid something like this was going to happen.
It would appear the treachery of Dr. Malpractice has stabbed Elfland to the core of the heart of our land's elfy goodness.
While you were gone, he must have stolen away with the Royal Crown of Royalty.
Some say he tossed it into the depths of Marsh Cave. Others claim I did it one night last week. Coincidentally, they were put to death for crimes against the state. One thing is for sure. The crown is definitely in Marsh Cave. I blame myself!
But not in any concrete legally binding way that directly implicates me as the actual person or persons who physically put the crown into Marsh Cave. I'm speaking strictly in abstract terms brought upon by feelings of guilt.
ThiefNaturally. In the meantime, though, how am I supposed to get the crown?
AstosThe Cave of Marsh has long been a hellish boil upon our lands. Its horrors are not for those of mortal stature. Truly, some say that only a group of destined heroes could plumb its depths and live to tell the tail. Others might say I made that part up just now, but they'd be put to death in a heartbeat if they did.
If only there was a group of foreign devils whose violent deaths in Marsh Cave would not be questioned. And if only there was an errant prince whom the Elfish public had not yet learned of to lead them.
Alas, there is no hope.
ThiefWait! I know of just such a group!
AstosYou don't say!
ThiefAnd they'll follow me into the pits of hell itself, or else suffer the wrath of my contract.
Black MageSo when Thief comes back, we stab 'em!
Red MageWhy is that your solution for everything?
Black MageI go with what works.
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