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8-Bit Theater
Episode 258
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There Will Be Blood Tonight
Date Published Saturday March 8th, 2003
Previous Comic Episode 257: The Saga of the Crown
Next Comic Episode 259: No Such Thing as Senseless Violence
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Cast Appearing[]

Setting[]

Script[]

Black Mage Then we're in agreement. When Thief walks in here, we kill him and throw off his contractual bonds.
Red Mage But I like Thief.
Fighter Yeah, he gave me some candy.
Fighter Mind you, it cost me my share of our treasure, but it was really good candy.
Black Mage You gave up all rights to your treasure for one piece of candy?!
Fighter Oh, no. Technically, since you already signed away my share of the treasure, I had to give him your share.
Beat
Fighter But since you already gave him that too, I signed over your lifelong devotion to Thief!
Black Mage What the! My lifelong devotion?! What the fug about yours!
Fighter For candy? It was only one piece. I'm not an idiot.
Thief enters.
Thief Guys! I've got a very important issue to discuss with you.
Thief But first I must close this door, thus baring my vulnerable back to you.
Black Mage raises his knife, a splatter of blood ensues, and Fighter is on the ground, Black Mage's knife in his back.
Thief I want to be surprised by that, but I can't be.
Black Mage It's what he would have wanted... if he was me.