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8-Bit Theater
Episode 293
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No Rest For The Warriors
Date Published Tuesday June 10th, 2003
Previous Comic Episode 292: Meanwhile, Back In Elf Land...
Next Comic Episode 294: Never Go Camping
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Thief has a cunning plan for survival.

Cast Appearing[]

Setting[]

Script[]

Black Mage Just one more terror-stricken night and we can get back to finding Matoya's Crystal.
Fighter Yo!
Black Mage Of course, this does nothing to alleviate the horrors of day to day life.
Thief Or the horrors of political treachery!
Black Mage Get out of here, you masher!
Thief A) I have important business to discuss with you. And B) The similarities between your robes, a dress, and bedclothes should worry you more than being seen in any of them.
Black Mage I'll have you know that a Mage's robes--
Thief Tend to be better washed than yours?
Black Mage I'll concede the point, but not the war.
Thief May I continue?
Black Mage If it'll get you outta here any faster, then yes.
Thief Chancellor Usurper has been screwing us all along. He had Dr. Malpractice keep my father incapacitated. He would've done the same to me, only I left Elf Land under cover of night before Usurper could take action. The only person who knew I'd gone was, surprise, Dr. Malpractice. He apparently kept my absence a secret so he could doublecross Usurper and me by keeping all the cash I was "acquiring" overseas for himself instead of using it to find a cure for my father since he was never genuinely ill. When we showed up it ruined Malpractice's plans, so he skipped town. Meanwhile, Usurper had tossed the Royal Crown of Royalty into Marsh Cave as insurance. Without the crown, there could be no royal king. And anyone foolhardy enough to actually go after the crown would surely die.
Thief It was the perfect plan and we ruined it. We're now staying in Usurper's guest quarters. Tonight will be his last chance to kill us before the ceremony. Ya wanna hear the plan and live through the night?