8-Bit Theater
Episode 304
Well, He's Already Halfway There...
Well, He's Already Halfway There...
Red Mage Likes Talking
Date Published Saturday July 5, 2003
Previous Comic Episode 303: In Case You Were Wondering About Them...
Next Comic Episode 305: Careful What You Say
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For Once, Red Mage's Inability to Shut Up is Used to the Party's Advantage

Cast Appearing[]




Black Mage I can't wait to get rid of this nightmare poison.
Red Mage Seriously.
Thief That will be a nice plus, but I'm more concerned with finding a cure for my father.
Black Mage Wow. A completely unselfish sentiment from Thief. The ten thousand hells must be freezing over.
Thief Oh ha ha ha, very funny. I'll have you know we Elves are the most charitable race. It's tax deductable, see, so everyone does it. A lot. There's practically one for every taxpayer. Come to think of it, there is one for every taxpayer. And all their taxable income usually ends up in the coffers of a charity that has their own name... There's going to be some serious tax reforms when I'm king.
Red Mage Tax reform? Tax reform?! Listen to yourself, man! You can't be an adventurer and seriously contemplate "tax reform" at the same time! It's wrong! The universe can't accomodate the buckle-down 9 to 5 lifestyle in the midst of all our wacky adventures and hijinks. When the two meet, it's the metaphysical equivalent of a fault line. The pressure builds to disastrous proportions until something's got to give and may the gods have mercy on your soul when it does! I know all about this stuff. I'm a Red Mage. I'm a living embodiment of the balance between order and chaos. The path of this dual lifestyle will surely cast you into ruin and insanity.
Red Mage Every action has a reaction. Think about that simple principle. Take it out of its usual context and apply it to your actual life. Your actions as a being. That which you do defines you. It's no coincidence that "human being" includes a conjugation of the verb "to be." Ours is a reality of process. Action is life, inaction is death. So your specific actions will not only define you, but they will define your reality. The clan of Red Mages is based upon these precepts. It is our mission to bend the rules of reality with our actions and thus redefine who we are, what is real, and what is possible through the very act of living. This is the core upon which all magic is based.
Fighter Am I the only one not paying attention?
Black Mage Hell no.
Thief Nope.
Fighter Should we stop him?
Thief No, I think he's boring the random encounters away.
Fighter & Black Mage Good point.