8-Bit Theater
Episode 311
Clever Bastard...
Clever Bastard...
Legal Dispute
Date Published Thursday July 24, 2003
Previous Comic Episode 310: Mo' Like Dork Warriors
Next Comic Episode 312: Fair Play
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Thief's Contracts Ensure He's Prepared For Any and Every Contingency

Cast Appearing[]


Matoya's Cave


Matoya Okay, 200 gil each for the return of my magic crystal. Just like we agreed.
Fighter, Black Mage, & Red Mage Score!
Thief Now for the Light Warrior tax. As per your contracts, all of you owe me 115% of everything you earn.
Black Mage But.
Red Mage I sense a con coming on. I can smell it in Thief's brain.
Thief Of course, it's mathematically impossible for you to pay that much, but the First Bank of Thief is willing to let that slide. For a fee.
Black Mage But.
Thief To be determined later.
Black Mage But.
Thief And then inflated when no one's looking.
Black Mage I call for a vote of no confidence!
Red Mage Can we do that?
Thief Sure, if it'll make you feel better. But keep in mind that I get a veto.
Black Mage Ha! There's three of us and one of you. I think we've got that covered, thanks. All those in favor of ousting stupid thief, say "aye"!
Fighter Aye!
Black Mage Aye!
Red Mage Aye!
Thief Veto, veto, veto. The vote of no confidence is denied.
Red Mage What!? How?
Thief I get a veto on every vote. Each of you got a vote, so I vetoed them all.
Black Mage Er, I don't think that's how a veto works, Thief.
Thief Let's see what Paragraph 84-B has to say about it.
Paragraph 84-B simply says "Yes it is." Black Mage stares at it in disbelief.
Black Mage That's not fair! This section is labeled "The All-Purpose Prove The Wrong Clause"! Hell, Paragraph 84-A just says "No it isn't."
Thief That way I've got all my bases covered.
Thief Pretty smart of me, huh?
Black Mage Smart like an ass hole.