| 8-Bit Theater | |
| Episode 312 | |
| |
| Did Someone Out-thief Thief? | |
| Fair Play | |
| Date Published | Saturday July 26, 2003 |
| Previous Comic | Episode 311: Legal Dispute |
| Next Comic | Episode 313: Wrongful Prosecution |
| Read Episode | |
Cast Appearing[]
- Thief
- Matoya
- Black Mage Evilwizardington (background)
- White Mage (background)
Setting[]
Script[]
| While the negotiation is taking place between Thief and Matoya, Black Mage and White Mage are speaking in the background. Black Mage, of course, ends up angering White Mage, who chases him and eventually sends him flying with her hammer. | |
| Thief | Now that we've returned your power of sight, I was wondering if you might do us a favor. |
| Matoya | I'm listening. |
| Thief | My father is the King of Elfland. And he's been poisoned by nefarious ne'er-do-wells. |
| Matoya | That's just so darn typical of ne'er-do-wells. |
| Thief | I have discovered the formula for the antidote and I know that you're the only person who can make it. |
| Matoya | And so you want me to brew up this antidote to save your dad. |
| Thief | Exactly! Will you? Please? |
| Matoya | Sure. But a skilled witch's time is valuable. It'll cost you 1000 gil plus a few minor taxes. |
| Thief | Whatever it takes! |
| Matoya | It's good to see such a noble spirit. |
| Matoya | Here, I'll even give you a special do-gooder discount for being so nice. |
| Thief | That's not necessary. |
| Matoya | Oh, but I insist. Now just sign this invoice to confirm your order and I'll get right to work. |
| Thief signs the invoice. | |
| Thief | Certainly! How can I ever repay you! |
| Matoya | Check out pages two through six of your receipt for more information on that. |
| Receipt Page | State Tax.......170G Federal tax.....387G Local Tax.......14G Cave Tax.......696G Medicinal Tax...571G Herb Tax........215G Do-Gooder tax...900G Tacks Tax......40.5G Made up tax..10,000G Another tax......17G |
| Thief | WHAT!? |
| Thief | These charges are absurd! |
| Matoya | I admit, there are some who would find my prices a bit... taxing. |
| Matoya | But, as they say, "He who lives by the contract gets screwed by the contract." |
| The Law Ninja Moon appears behind Thief. | |
| Thief | We shall see about that... |