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8-Bit Theater
Episode 318
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Buckle Up, It's The Law
Date Published Tuesday August 12, 2003
Previous Comic Episode 317: The Only Way to Fly
Next Comic Episode 319: Not Again
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Falling At Two Times Vertical Velocity Means Blood Gets Pushed To Fighter's Brain

Cast Appearing[]

Setting[]

  • Deathtrap in Airspace above the Aldi Sea
  • Jeff's Discount Deathtraps

Script[]

An arrow flies towards the deathtrap, making contact with a "tink!" The deathtrap then drops straight down with a "Swoosh!"
Black Mage I'd say I didn't want to say I told you so, but I'm very petty and enjoy being proven right even, it would seem, when it means my own death.
Thief Yes, fine, we're dying. Might I suggest we buckle up and brace for impact?
Thief, Fighter, and Red Mage buckle in with a "Click!", "Click!", and "Cha-Click!", while Black Mage doesn't and is now suspended in the air from the vertical velocity.
Black Mage Everyone knows belt buckles are a huge scam. The illusion of security, my friend. The illusion of security.
Red Mage But we're falling at approximately... carry the nine... two times terminal velocity?! That's impossible!
Cut to Jeff at Jeff's Discount Deathtraps
Jeff When I say deathtrap, I mean deathtrap.
Cut back to the plummeting deathtrap
Black Mage While you fools are latched to your inevitable burning doom, I'll be thrown free of the wreck to safety.
Fighter May I interject an observation? If we're falling, then you can only be "thrown free" straight into the ground. And even if you were impossibly ejected from the craft horizontally...
Fighter ...You'd have to then somehow survive flying through the shattering window which would more closely resemble a cloud of high-velocity multifaceted razor blades.
Black Mage I'll take my chances.