8-Bit Theater
Episode 331
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Smoke Signals
Date Published September 18, 2003
Previous Comic Episode 330: Dial B for Murder
Next Comic Episode 332: Semantics
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Cast Appearing[]



Black Mage Well, it's not wrecked that badly. When do you think you'll have 'er up and running again?
Red Mage But it's still on fire.
Black Mage Yeah, the magical residue from the spells that kept this thing relatively aloft are gonna burn for weeks. So what're we lookin' at? Three, five hours tops?
Red Mage Let's see. Half the vessel is lodged deep within the earth. Ths other half is on fire. Even if I could fake the technical knowledge, I am lacking in tools of any kind.
Black Mage So... A whole day?
Red Mage Yeah, about a day sounds right. Plus or minus eternity 'cause it ain't happenin'!
Black Mage Some Red Mage you turned out to be. You must be a terrible disappointment to your whole family.
Red Mage Yes, but for unrelated reasons.
Flashback to Red Mage's Childhood
Red Mage's Father Son, I hate you because I wanted a daughter.
Red Mage's Mother Harold! You'll give him a complex!
Red Mage's Father Oh, we both know it's too late for that.
Back to the present
Red Mage Why didn't you love me, Daddy?
Black Mage I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm going to go talk with Fighter now.
Meanwhile, some distance away...
Black Belt Wow, White Mage. How did you ever know that the billowing tower of smoke would lead us straight to the Light Warriors?
White Mage Are you serious?!
Black Belt Oh yeah. The billowing tower of smoke part. Yeah, that's them all over really.