8-Bit Theater
Episode 342
No Image.jpg
Hypothetically Speaking...
Date Published Thursday October 16th, 2003
Previous Comic Episode 341: The Perfect Plan
Next Comic Episode 343: Check Mate!
Read Episode

Black Mage and Red Mage debate like nerds.

Cast Appearing[]



Several days of trekking later...
Red Mage I'm telling you, given sufficent time to observe and analyze his opponent, Batman wins any one on one confrontation, hands down.
Thief Three days of this... For the first time in my long life, I am of the opinion that the Dwarf Kingdom is too far away...
Black Mage Okay, I've got one. Dr. Doom VS Batman.
Red Mage Interesting choice. Doom is every bit as fanatical, analytical, and brilliant as the Bat.
Red Mage Doom has a kingdom, while Batman has Wayne Enterprises.
They both have access to incredible supergadgets.
Both lay intricate plans as subtle as they are profound.
Both have the willpower of a god and the patience of a mountain.
Thief So, Fighter, we hardly get a chance to talk.
Thief Why don't we get to know each other so I don't have to hear the nerds talking while they obsessively debate incredibly lame things?
Just prattle about swords or some such. I don't care.
Fighter *Thinking* Clever, Thief, but not clever enough to thwart Fighter! You've got to wake up mighty early in the morning to beat me. Like at least by noon. The Quiet Game shall be mine!
Red Mage To be fair, each combatant should be given his most favorable circumstances.
Black Mage But that is mutually exclusive. Batman has an extensive support network in Gotham, while Doom has nigh-limitless resources inside Latveria.
Red Mage What if they battle on the grounds of the Latverian Embassy which just happens to be in Gotham City?
Black Mage That still unfairly favors Batman. We need neutral ground.
Red Mage Some sort of decayed urban environment which is equidistant from both Gotham and Latveria then.
Thief Hm, no response. Fighter, if you hate swords, then say nothing.
Black Mage I'll grant that if we remove Richards from existence for this exercise. He's a wildcard, that one.
Fighter *thinking* Must... resist... temptation!
Thief Oh, I like where this conversation is going...