8-Bit Theater
Episode 379
"At LEAST RM's logic makes sense..."
"At LEAST RM's logic makes sense..."
Vampire Anatomy 101
Date Published Tuesday February 3rd, 2004
Previous Comic Episode 378: It’s Kinda Catchy
Next Comic Episode 380: Introducing...
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Cast Appearing[edit | edit source]

Setting[edit | edit source]

  • In front of the Von Vampire Residence

Script[edit | edit source]

Red Mage And Drop!
Fighter drops the Armorie of Invincibility on Vilbert.
Fighter Did we get him?
Vilbert Oh, sweet lady agony, you are the only reminder that unlife still flows through my veins!
Black Mage Okay, killing does not take this long.
What's the hold up?
Red Mage We are having some trouble hitting his heart.
Fighter On the bright side, we've nailed most of his other organs.
It's taken the fight out of him.
Vilbert My dark pancreas of the damned shalt never be the same!
Fighter Yeah, and his liver of decay is completely shot.
Red Mage C'mon, let's try again.
Red Mage Heave!
Fighter lifts the Armorie, and drops it again on Vilbert.
Black Mage I think that was his neck.
Red Mage Look at it this way.
The more puncture holes there are, the less surface area there is...
So it becomes increasingly likely that we'll get it right.
Vilbert Ode to mine suffering, by Vilbert.
Vilbert (reciting in background)
My life is torment.
Who are you, misunderstander?
My life is torment.
What are you, mean, bully, jock?
My life is torment.
What is a soul, if not a bowl of pain?
A bowl of pain.
A bowl of pain.
Black Mage Faster, faster, faster, faster!
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