8-Bit Theater
Episode 380
Because we were play-acting FURNITURE WARRIORS and -- dammit, Thief.
Because we were play-acting FURNITURE WARRIORS and -- dammit, Thief.
Date Published Thursday February 5th, 2004
Previous Comic Episode 379: Vampire Anatomy 101
Next Comic Episode 381: Dead. Hate. Living.
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In this episodes, many questions are asked, but only one is answered.

Cast Appearing[]


  • In front of the Von Vampire Residence
  • In front of Deathtrap wreckage


Fighter Was that it?
Red Mage Well, He stopped reciting awful poetry, so you either pierced his gothicular membrane or his heart.
Black Mage Either one is good enough for me.
Lich Why is my son lying in the front yard with what appear to be two dozen furniture induced stab wounds?
Thief flees to the top of the Armorie.
Black Mage Dammit, Thief.
Scene change to Deathtrap wreckage.
Black Belt I'm bored.
When are they coming back?
White Mage Soon.
Black Belt You keep saying that.
White Mage Well, you keep asking that.
Black Belt Let's play a game to pass the time.
White Mage (Raising arms) I'd love to, but you lost all our game pieces.
Black Belt Maybe if the board game you chose was less like a dissertation on hyperdimensional physics and more like a board game, it wouldn't have swallowed all the pieces and dice into the singularity of its madness.
White Mage It's Monopoly. You landed on my elf land with three hotels and yelled "look out, a seagull"--Which I never saw, incidentally--and then everything was gone.
Black Belt Hyperdimensional, I say!