Episode 380: Introducing...

8-Bit Theater
Episode 380
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Introducing...
Date Published	Thursday February 5th, 2004
Previous Comic	Episode 379: Vampire Anatomy 101
Next Comic	Episode 381: Dead. Hate. Living.
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In this episodes, many questions are asked, but only one is answered.

Cast Appearing

• Black Mage Evilwizardington
• Fighter McWarrior
• Red Mage Statscowski
• Thief
• White Mage
• Black Belt
• Vilbert von Vampire
• Lich von Vampire (first appearance)

Setting

• In front of the Von Vampire Residence
• In front of Deathtrap wreckage

Script

SPLURT!
Fighter	Was that it?
Red Mage	Well, He stopped reciting awful poetry, so you either pierced his gothicular membrane or his heart.
Black Mage	Either one is good enough for me.
Lich	Why is my son lying in the front yard with what appear to be two dozen furniture induced stab wounds?
Thief flees to the top of the Armorie.
Black Mage	Dammit, Thief.
Scene change to Deathtrap wreckage.
Black Belt	I'm bored. When are they coming back?
White Mage	Soon.
Black Belt	You keep saying that.
White Mage	Well, you keep asking that.
Silence...
Black Belt	Let's play a game to pass the time.
White Mage	I'd love to, but you lost all our game pieces.
Black Belt	Maybe if the board game you chose was less like a dissertation on hyperdimensional physics and more like a board game, it wouldn't have swallowed all the pieces and dice into the singularity of its madness.
White Mage	It's monopoly. You landed on my elf land with three hotels and yelled "look out, a seagull"--Which I never saw, incidentally--and then everything was gone.
Black Belt	Hyperdimensional, I say!