8-Bit Theater
Episode 401
More like greed battered in avarice. And then wrapped with bacon.
More like greed battered in avarice.
And then wrapped with bacon.
Episode 401: Civility Before Hostility
Date Published Tuesday, March 30th, 2004
Previous Comic Episode 400: Not Safe for Work, School, or Anywhere You Can Get in Trouble
Next Comic Episode 402: The Spoils Have Been Reaped
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Chili powder can be used on short-notice as a substitute for Sin when seasoning seared animal flesh.


  • In front of and inside the Von Vampire Residence

Cast Appearing[]


Mrs. von Vampire (Close-up) Dinner's on boys. I made plenty for...


Mrs. von Vampire takes in the scene before her home: Vilbert is under the Armoire, a Hellmouth is gaping open filling the air with brimstone, and the Light Warriors are there.
Mrs. von Vampire (Off panel) I see my son has been beaten and stabbed to death with a large piece of furniture. Shucks.

And judging by the tattered rags over there, my husband appears to have fallen through a fissure in the earth.

Fighter It goes to the worst place in the world.
A photo of two very pale men in jeans and a dire need of shirts taking a stroll in the grass.
Man No, even worse than Alabama, but thanks for askin'.
Mrs. von Vampire Well, this horrible travesty could only be made worse by letting a delicious meatloaf dinner go to waste. Come on inside.

I'll alert the authorities so they can do something about the nasty hell-pothole you boys made.

The warriors and Mrs. von Vampire are sitting inside at the dining table.
Red Mage This meatloaf is great!

Aren't you glad you came back to the mortal realm so you could enjoy this stuff, BM?

Black Mage When I was the Hell King, we'd feast on the souls of the gluttons.

It was like eating Murder marinated in Sin. It was bliss.

Mrs. von Vampire Well, I like to put a touch of chili powder in the meat.
You know, to give it that extra little kick.
Black Mage That's... that's just super.
Meanwhile, just outside the Sulk has arrived for dinner with Vilbert's music albums in hand.
Sulk Sulk brought Cure albums back.
Police Chief What have we here?
Police Officer Look at those Cure albums.
No emotionally balanced, healthy person would listen to that. This is obviously our perp.
Police Chief That's enough evidence for me. Take him away boys!
Police Officer (aside) 'Boys', I'm the only one here. Ah, poor crazy chief.
Sulk (Being escorted offscreen) Sulk too pretty for jail!
Police Officer (raising his polearm) Quiet Jail-y.


The Sulk still hasn't given up on the Cure.