|More like greed battered in avarice.|
And then wrapped with bacon.
|Episode 401: Civility Before Hostility|
|Date Published||Tuesday, March 30th, 2004|
|Previous Comic||Episode 400: Not Safe for Work, School, or Anywhere You Can Get in Trouble|
|Next Comic||Episode 402: The Spoils Have Been Reaped|
Chili powder can be used on short-notice as a substitute for Sin when seasoning seared animal flesh.
Setting[edit | edit source]
- In front of and inside the Von Vampire Residence
Cast Appearing[edit | edit source]
- Vilbert von Vampire
- Vilbert's mother, Mrs. von Vampire
- Fighter McWarrior
- Some... dudes... from Alabama.
- Red Mage Statscowski
- Black Mage Evilwizardington
- The Sulk
- Random law-enforcing soldiers (the armored police)
Script[edit | edit source]
|Mrs. von Vampire||(Close-up) Dinner's on boys. I made plenty for...|
|Mrs. von Vampire takes in the scene before her home: Vilbert is under the Armoire, a Hellmouth is gaping open filling the air with brimstone, and the Light Warriors are there.|
|Mrs. von Vampire||(Off panel) I see my son has been beaten and stabbed to death with a large piece of furniture. Shucks.|
And judging by the tattered rags over there, my husband appears to have fallen through a fissure in the earth.
|Fighter||It goes to the worst place in the world.|
|A photo of two very pale men in jeans and a dire need of shirts taking a stroll in the grass.|
|Man||No, even worse than Alabama, but thanks for askin'.|
|Mrs. von Vampire||Well, this horrible travesty could only be made worse by letting a delicious meatloaf dinner go to waste. Come on inside.|
I'll alert the authorities so they can do something about the nasty hell-pothole you boys made.
|The warriors and Mrs. von Vampire are sitting inside at the dining table.|
|Red Mage||This meatloaf is great!
Aren't you glad you came back to the mortal realm so you could enjoy this stuff, BM?
|Black Mage||When I was the Hell King, we'd feast on the souls of the gluttons.
It was like eating Murder marinated in Sin. It was bliss.
|Mrs. von Vampire||Well, I like to put a touch of chili powder in the meat.|
You know, to give it that extra little kick.
|Black Mage||That's... that's just super.|
|Meanwhile, just outside the Sulk has arrived for dinner with Vilbert's music albums in hand.|
|Sulk||Sulk brought Cure albums back.|
|Police Chief||What have we here?|
|Police Officer||Look at those Cure albums.|
No emotionally balanced, healthy person would listen to that. This is obviously our perp.
|Police Chief||That's enough evidence for me. Take him away boys!|
|Police Officer||(aside) 'Boys', I'm the only one here. Ah, poor crazy chief.|
|Sulk||(Being escorted offscreen) Sulk too pretty for jail!|
|Police Officer||(raising his polearm) Quiet Jail-y.|