Episode 435: He's a Fighter, Not a Diplomat

8-Bit Theater
Episode 435
Hint: He's not talking about Fighter!
He's a Fighter, Not a Diplomat
Date Published	Tuesday June 29th, 2004
Previous Comic	Episode 434: Wouldn't You Like to Know?
Next Comic	Episode 436: Peek-a-boo
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Black Mage continues to hit on white mage. Meanwhile, a voice fails to obtain Fighter's name.

Cast Appearing

• Black Mage Evilwizardington
• White Mage
• Voice of Generic Half-Elven Dual-Class Ranger (first appearance)
• Fighter McWarrior
• Red Mage Statscowski
• Thief

Setting

• In a forest not too far from Crescent Lake

Script

And so, not too far from Crescent Lake...
White Mage	Oh, don't be such a cry baby. I healed you, you're fine.
Black Mage	What about the emotional scars?
White Mage	I was under the impression the sum total of your emotional life consisted entirely of seething, blind, unfocused contempt.
Black Mage	Still waters run deep, White Mage. Still waters run deep.
White Mage	What? How does that even apply?
Black Mage	Well, I was hoping sexually.
Ranger	Hark, who goes there?
Fighter	Who goes where? We're right here. Where goes you? Yeah. What do you think of that?
There are a few seconds of silence.
Ranger	...Cunning You have proven yourself a worthy adversary this day.
Fighter	Okay.
Black Mage	...This big...
Ranger	I would know your name, Sir.
Fighter	Really? That's cool.
White Mage pulls out her hammer.
Ranger	I don't think you quite understood me.
Fighter	Yeah, probably not.
Red Mage and Thief hold White Mage back.
Ranger	Let's try this again.
Fighter	Sure! Can I start this time?
White Mage calms down.
Black Mage	Mythical!
Ranger	Yeah, y'know what? Is there someone else affiliated with your organization with whom I could speak?
White Mage pulls out two hammers.