8-Bit Theater
Episode 503
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An Inside Job
Date Published Saturday, January 15th, 2005
Previous Comic Episode 502: Technical Mumbo Jumbo
Next Comic Episode 504: Tis a Good Question
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The Dark Warriors plot against the Light Warriors...

Cast Appearing[]


  • Dark Warriors' galleon


Garland Okay, they're all in the mess hall eating up my delicious homemade meal.
We are free to plot without interruptions.
Drizz'l Not that I endorse this plan, whether whole or in part, but what is up with Vilbert's pirate lingo?
Vilbert I'm playing a royal noble who, wandering alone one dark and Victorian night, stumbled into the wrong alley after some bacchanal party.
As is wont of nobles.
Whereupon he was beset by a creature of the night!
He struggled but nay--
Drizz'l Less fruity indulgence, more facts.
Vilbert Was embraced(TM), became a vampire, and then forced into a life of piracy.
Drizz'l Y'know, that brings up another point.
Why are we talking like pirates?
Aren't we supposed to be a crew of a merchant ship?
Bikke Yar, when we be on the high seas, we'll be bowing to my expertise.
Vilbert (quietly) Delightful couplet, Mr. Bikke.
Bikke When we be fighting Light Warriors in our cave stronghold and yet be managing to lose to them, then we be asking ye how we should talk.
Drizz'l (angrily) So that's how it's going to be, is it?
Garland Let's not bicker, gentlemen. Remember, you can't hug with medieval arms.
Vilbert This is all moot, isn't it?
If they're eating from the foodstuffs we brought aboard, then they'll be dead in a few agonizing hours.
Garland Oh, gosh no.
That food went bad. I threw it out and picked up all new supplies.
Vilbert It was poisoned.
Garland Why do you think I got rid of it?