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8-Bit Theater
Episode 505
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Chores of Death
Date Published Thursday, January 20th, 2005
Previous Comic Episode 504: Tis a Good Question
Next Comic Episode 506: Underappreciated
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Drizz'l tries to kill the Light Warriors, but Black Mage's paranoia saves their skins...

Cast Appearing[]

Setting[]

  • Dark Warriors' galleon

Script[]

Drizz'l You sadden me with your relentless incompetence.
Bikke And have ye been doin' to take care of our problems?
Drizz'l I'll have you know I've got stupid one, the elfish one, and the other stupid one cleaning the cannons.
Drizz'l I equipped them with slow burning fuses so I could be out here when they get turned into a fine mist of chum at about 400m/s.
Black Mage Oh no! I've got to act fast!
Bikke What about the really smelly one?
Drizz'l You mean the ugly one? With the doofy hat?
Bikke Aye.
Drizz'l He looks exceptionally ineffectual. I figured we could push him into the water or something.
The cannons explode with a small BOOM.
Drizz'l Odd. That's at least twice as loud as it should've been!
Black Mage (panting)
Bikke (offscreen) Yar, what an inhuman mess!
Black Mage (happily) Score!
Drizz'l How did they survive!
Drizz'l It's like someone stuffed far too much powder into these guns and all the extra concussive forces cancelled each other out. But that's impossible! On several levels.
Black Mage (offscreen, and loudly) DAMMIT!
(more quietly) I mean, "Good, I saved my friends. On purpose."
Bikke I think it was ye.
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